Back again?

Yesterday I read this blog..after a really long, long time. And felt sad. Sad because I do not devote any time to blogging anymore. Sad because I no longer have any creative outlet. Sad because I feel like I have become a one dimensional person- I'm nothing more than a mother and a wife. Of course, I know some would argue those particular roles are hardly one dimensional; that a mother and a wife are responsible for most accomplishments in this world, whether directly or in a facilitating role. Yet this is not what I dreamt of becoming growing up.

Make no mistake- I do love being a mother and a wife very much. Being a wife is being part of an enriching relationship, and I am lucky enough that I can say I am a very fulfilled half of this relationship and no less. Being a mother has brought a softness to my core that I cannot explain. Suffice it to say I am less of a bitch and more of an emotional softie. Those very emotional advertisements I used to scoff at now bring tears to my eyes if they involve a parent -child bond in any way. Yep, I am turning into my mother in many ways.

But, and this is a big But, that isn't me..in my entirety. I do have my job to fulfill my needs in some ways, though it falls short in many ways (I will not get into that since that would take away from this post being a whole other topic on its own). But I am not one of those lucky people whose hobby or passion is their job-, my job merely fulfills my need to be financially independent. My only true outlet as a person was blogging, and I have let this slide to a pitiful degree. The joy of writing and being me, the real me, has been lost to me since I stopped blogging. The anonymity that I have in this outlet is blissful- no pretences, no excuses, just me. Since The Better Half has been an avid reader of this blog, I would like to think that he likes knowing the real me as well, apart from the part of me that I reveal to the world. I am a strong believer that honesty HAS to be the basis of a strong relationship, and as such I prefer that he knows me as I am - the real, unadulterated me.

So will I be able to continue blogging? Certainly not on a daily basis, but I hope I can throw in a few updates once in a while- even once a month would please me for starters. I believe I will not let this die..not if it is as important to me as I claim it is. We shall see.

Urghhhh

And so I sum up today's day.

Started, or rather continued, from last night into the wee hours of the morning today, since I was trying to catch up on work. Took a nap, got up, and back to work again. Did not even realise that I had skipped breakfast in my ardent (call me crazy!) desire to finish my work.

Oh ya, did I mention I've been miserable since last night with fever and a nasty cold? Finally had lunch before the afternoon could turn into evening. Tried explaining worksheets to colleagues who appear to be technologically challenged in spite of working in an IT consulting firm and handling million dollar projects.Finally decided I need to take a break and a much needed nap to let my body recover from the flu.

Woke up to the cell phone ringing and more explanations needed. Wrote dozens of follow up emails so I could catch the deadline and not have to work on a weekend. Failed since no one cared enough to respond.

More phone calls with explanations- this time with a crazy lady (also one of above mentioned colleagues)who started screaming and crying on the phone. Babbling consisted mostly of "this company is crazy, people shouldn't have to work like this, it's 9pm and I haven't gone to the gym yet, I'm going to hang up since I'm crying". Hello lady, I'm sick, stressed, over worked, and filling in for someone else this week and baby sitting all of you. As for the gym- ha! haven't been there in 2 years. If you are frustrated, find something fun to do or go see a shrink. Better still, change your job. Please do not say things like "I'm not an idiot, my IQ is way off the charts" when I try to explain excel sheets or an IT system to you. I'm not an idiot either, neither did I assume you were one; my only fault was trying to help you understand how things work in a non-sarcastic and non-condescending way. Sorry if I'm not sympathetic right now.

So urghhh it was...the thought of working on a weekend, feeling sick, and entertaining my energy ball (aka my lil one)is enough to make me cranky. Not typical of me, but I'm allowed to be Ms Grumpy Face for one day, right? Ms. Happy and Ms. Empathetic can go take a hike for once.

Lousy weather :(

Never thought I'd say this, but the weather in California sucks right now! It's May and it should be nice and sunny. Gorgeous 20-somethings should be out on the streets running in their hot- pants. Cars should have the tops down; well, the brave ones still do. People should be able to walk about in T-shirts, or short sleeved shirts, and should NOT have to wear a jacket.

But no siree, that's not what's happening this May. It's cold like it gets in Fall, with temperatures in the 60's. WTF??? And thanks to this weird temperature, my kid, and consequently I, have a massive cold. Another thing to be annoyed about!!! Grr...

California weather, bring back my sun!

So much time has passed...

and so many things have happened since I last visited this blog.

1. I graduated with a MBA degree from the US.


2. I had my baby while doing this.


3. I got my H1 visa approved.


4. And now onto my second job in US.

Wow..how time flies by!
As I am typing this post, a sense of what I've missed prevails; I've missed writing my heart out here, exploring my feelings and thoughts, unburdening myself in this private space.
I hope I will be back for more, for I do have more to tell.

The big Three- Oh

Yes, I finally hit it today. And you know what, I don't care! I still feel young at heart, just as if I was 25. I guess it helps when your birthday is officially called "the first day of spring" and even google does a little art deco with it's homepage to celebrate it :) And it certainly was exciting to keep getting calls right from yesterday- my dad insisted on wishing me on India time, since that is where I was born. Hmm, can't really fault that logic!

So plans for today include getting a nice haircut (nothing like that to perk me up!) at a nice expensive parlor (duh-is money an object on a birthday???!!) and a nice dinner out. And of course, the mandatory birthday dress was bought after a lot of nagging ("you know, my parents always bought me a nice dress to celebrate my bday") which worked. And when you consider that was the second option given to The Better Half (first being a diamond- had to try!), I let him off pretty cheap.

So enjoy the first day of spring, folks! Have a good day :)