Epiphany

Urghhhh

2011-05-21T00:47:00.000-07:00

And so I sum up today's day.

Started, or rather continued, from last night into the wee hours of the morning today, since I was trying to catch up on work. Took a nap, got up, and back to work again. Did not even realise that I had skipped breakfast in my ardent (call me crazy!) desire to finish my work.

Oh ya, did I mention I've been miserable since last night with fever and a nasty cold? Finally had lunch before the afternoon could turn into evening. Tried explaining worksheets to colleagues who appear to be technologically challenged in spite of working in an IT consulting firm and handling million dollar projects.Finally decided I need to take a break and a much needed nap to let my body recover from the flu.

Woke up to the cell phone ringing and more explanations needed. Wrote dozens of follow up emails so I could catch the deadline and not have to work on a weekend. Failed since no one cared enough to respond.

More phone calls with explanations- this time with a crazy lady (also one of above mentioned colleagues)who started screaming and crying on the phone. Babbling consisted mostly of "this company is crazy, people shouldn't have to work like this, it's 9pm and I haven't gone to the gym yet, I'm going to hang up since I'm crying". Hello lady, I'm sick, stressed, over worked, and filling in for someone else this week and baby sitting all of you. As for the gym- ha! haven't been there in 2 years. If you are frustrated, find something fun to do or go see a shrink. Better still, change your job. Please do not say things like "I'm not an idiot, my IQ is way off the charts" when I try to explain excel sheets or an IT system to you. I'm not an idiot either, neither did I assume you were one; my only fault was trying to help you understand how things work in a non-sarcastic and non-condescending way. Sorry if I'm not sympathetic right now.

So urghhh it was...the thought of working on a weekend, feeling sick, and entertaining my energy ball (aka my lil one)is enough to make me cranky. Not typical of me, but I'm allowed to be Ms Grumpy Face for one day, right? Ms. Happy and Ms. Empathetic can go take a hike for once.

Lousy weather :(

2011-05-19T22:24:00.000-07:00

Never thought I'd say this, but the weather in California sucks right now! It's May and it should be nice and sunny. Gorgeous 20-somethings should be out on the streets running in their hot- pants. Cars should have the tops down; well, the brave ones still do. People should be able to walk about in T-shirts, or short sleeved shirts, and should NOT have to wear a jacket.

But no siree, that's not what's happening this May. It's cold like it gets in Fall, with temperatures in the 60's. WTF??? And thanks to this weird temperature, my kid, and consequently I, have a massive cold. Another thing to be annoyed about!!! Grr...

California weather, bring back my sun!

So much time has passed...

2011-05-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

and so many things have happened since I last visited this blog.

I graduated with a MBA degree from the US.

I had my baby while doing this.

I got my H1 visa approved.

And now onto my second job in US.

Wow..how time flies by!
As I am typing this post, a sense of what I've missed prevails; I've missed writing my heart out here, exploring my feelings and thoughts, unburdening myself in this private space.
I hope I will be back for more, for I do have more to tell.

The big Three- Oh

2008-03-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

Yes, I finally hit it today. And you know what, I don't care! I still feel young at heart, just as if I was 25. I guess it helps when your birthday is officially called "the first day of spring" and even google does a little art deco with it's homepage to celebrate it :) And it certainly was exciting to keep getting calls right from yesterday- my dad insisted on wishing me on India time, since that is where I was born. Hmm, can't really fault that logic!

So plans for today include getting a nice haircut (nothing like that to perk me up!) at a nice expensive parlor (duh-is money an object on a birthday???!!) and a nice dinner out. And of course, the mandatory birthday dress was bought after a lot of nagging ("you know, my parents always bought me a nice dress to celebrate my bday") which worked. And when you consider that was the second option given to The Better Half (first being a diamond- had to try!), I let him off pretty cheap.

So enjoy the first day of spring, folks! Have a good day :)

So I'm back...

2008-03-16T13:46:00.000-07:00

...but who knows for how long! The last time I posted , I said I'm back for good. But apparently that wasn't quite true. So this time I'm making no promises to myself, for what's the value of a promise or an intent if you can't keep it? So this time I'm just gonna go with the flow.

Alright, so I'm back for a reason- I have news to share! And it's of the type that will make a huge difference in my life this point on. So without further ado,

#1. I'm going back to school in August to get my 2nd MBA- Yay! I'm so looking forward to this since it seems a waste of my education and capabilities (not to mention the monetory short handedness and loss of independence) to be a Stay at Home Wife when I could be so much more! The only thing that gets me here is that the schools I applied and got into are not the ones my marks deserve, but it's a compromise mainly coz of #2, which is-

#2- The Better Half and I are expecting a Lil Bean in our family! Yay again! :) And all the time I spent away from the blogging world was spent in the world of TTC (Trying to Conceive) and all the totally new lingo there. Can you believe "sex" is referred to as BD (baby dancing)? LOL :D Ok, and let me answer the question you've already asked by now- he/she is due in late Oct :)And we had an ultrasound this week and even saw and heard the Lil Bean's heartbeat. That was simply awesome! The Better Half is bursting with pride already :)

So #1 and #2 are now the biggest challenges of my life, simply coz they are falling in my lap together. The school I'm gonna go to has an accelerated one year program, which made a whole lot of sense to me, since I can get back to work that much sooner. But #2 has just made that a whole lot tougher! Luckily, my parents will be here to help me out during that time, thank god. Also since Lil Bean was being planned, The Better Half and I needed to be together and the school I chose needed to be within an hour's commute. Hopefully, all the compromises won't turn out too bad when it comes to hunting for a job in Silicon Valley.

Ha! 2008 is sure one happening year for me!

One more year gone by

2007-11-28T09:29:00.000-08:00

Last week was when we did the big move, packing up all our stuff and moving into a new apartment, where we will hopefully stay for a long time. Really, really tiring since the whole process of packing took around a week! Luckily the Thanksgiving holidays helped in giving us enough time to settle into the new place. I am the sort of person who hates to see boxes lying all around and the sooner everything was put in it's proper place and the boxes removed, the happier I was.

I hope everyone had a fun filled Thanksgiving with lots of turkey! We were supposed to have Thanksgiving at NR's place (NR is The Better Half's cousin, the closest family he has here) like last year but unfortunately that got cancelled. Not that we minded since we had an adventure planned for the next day, OUR ANNIVERSARY :) This was our 2nd, and this time we decided to do something together instead of exchanging gifts. Since we are so close to Napa and Sonoma valley, it seemed appropriate to go visit the Wine Country.

I was a little apprehensive of how enjoyable the evening might be, since wine has never been a huge favourite with us. Both The Better Half and I would rather pick out a bottle of vodka or a beer before considering wine. But what a wonderful experience we had! We visited 3 wineries, all in Sonoma valley, since Napa is supposed to be equivalent but more expensive (coz that's where all the tourists go). We must have tasted around 15 or more wines before we gave it a stop coz the wine was getting to our heads- literally! We liked it enough to buy a bottle of Pinot Grigio Chardonnay and some really expensive Port wine. Yumm...I'm imagining how much more delicious it would taste after storing it away for a couple of more years! So from now on, we will definitely give the wine selections a second look instead of just going for the hard liquor.

Oh let me not forget to mention, we also did some cheese tasting at the local restaurant, The Cheese Factory. Several simply yummy types of cheese were available to taste for free and cheese does go so well with wine! ;)

We also visited Muir Woods on the way to Sonoma and Napa, which was so beautiful and peaceful. Not too many tourists there, so we really enjoyed walking up the trails. For a minute you could imagine that you were the only ones there.

Muir Woods is famous for it's coastal sequoia or redwood trees, which grow up to huge sizes. Check out the pictures below.

That hollow in the tree trunk can fit upto 4-5 people!!

Well, that's all from me for now. I wish I had pictures of grapes in the vineyards but unfortunately grapes are picked anywhere from mid- Aug to Thanksgiving, depending on the type of wine they are for, so we didn't get to see any.

Have a good week, folks!

Lights and savouries

2007-11-08T16:36:00.000-08:00

Yep, that's going to be the tune all the Indians will be singing this whole week. It is the festival of lights, Diwali, that puts us in this mood where even the most weight conscious of us (including me) make a few exceptions to eating yummy snacks. It is one of those times that really make me miss India. The festive mood, the snacks (did I mention that before? ;)), the family gatherings, the feeling that for a couple of days, we can just take some time off work and relax with the family. It's probably the lights everywhere that I miss the most which makes every city in India come alive. Of course we Indians try and do our best abroad but without the fireworks, it's not really the same.

So without further ado, let me wish all my Indian fellow bloggers "A Very Happy and Prosperous Diwali".

And here's a picture of the "chaklis" I made. :) Those 2 huge ones are specially for me and The Better Half. It's just a reminder of how my mom always made one last big one for me. (Psst- I felt guilty eating that one alone, so I made one for him too.) A special thanks to Asha for the recipe!

So let me get onto what this post was originally going to be about- Television. No, I'm not going to preach about the evils or the pros and cons of the idiot box. To be fair, whether it deserves to be called an idiot box depends on what sort of shows you watch. There are tons of educational and informative shows on there and it's upto the viewer how much of an idiot he/she wants to be. Anyway, I was specifically going to talk about some shows that I really like. If I were to list down what I'm watching nowadays, it would be like this:

1. The View- This has 5 very talented and opinionated women discussing current topics. Sometimes it's politics, sometimes it's about current news/events and sometimes it's just plain gossip. Hey, whatever it is , when you've got the likes of Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters, it's going to be more than just plain talk. I did mention opinionated, didn't I?

2. Dr. Phil - I am just a huge fan of this guy ever since he appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show. With a tell-it-like-it-is style of counselling, this is one shrink I would like to visit if I ever needed one. Blunt and to the point, he is a "human reality check".

3. The Biggest Loser - One of the best reality shows I like. Very inspiring and incredibly motivating not just for people who have weight issues but also for those who have trouble dealing with life's issues. It definitely is a winner for the human spirit. I'm a bit disappointed with the current season though with the manipulation going on to remove team members; this is the first time anything other than hard work and perseverance made an appearance.

4. The Tyra Banks Show - Oh I love this woman! An ex- super model with her own talkshow now, she is least like what one expects a model to be ; superficial she is not! She is not afraid to tell her age, not afraid to talk about how she is no longer model skinny. A terrific model for the African- American community after Oprah Winfrey, she makes you feel proud to be a woman.

5. Ok, now that I have talked about all the inspiring shows I watch, it's time to reveal that I'm a huge fan of all the sitcoms too. I love FRIENDS, Everybody Loves Raymond, The King of Queens, The 70's Show etc etc. Hey, what's better than a comedy to shoo away the blues and put a smile on your face?

So tell me what you like watching. Or don't like watching, if you wish.

AWOL

2007-10-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

Absent Without Official Leave- that's been my status for the last 4 weeks. This is the first time I've even looked at my blog since my last post. I've been equally bad at visting my blogger friends too . :(

So what was I upto and why did I vanish? It wasn't that I was tired of this blog or that I had nothing to write about. In fact, as I'm typing this, I realize that I've really missed blogging and putting my thoughts out there. But the last 3 weeks were sort of weird for me, like somehow trying to find myself and fighting my private demons. I had lots of things on my mind and I was doing a really bad job at dealing with the stress. You know how those bad days are- you get up in the morning and the first thing you remember is all the bad stuff and the bad feelings. Ditto before you go to sleep, so much that you desperately want to go to sleep but it refuses to come.

Anyway, I would talk about the stressful stuff except that it involves some things in the works and I don't want to jinx it. But I will mention that one of them was moving into a new apartment again, and boy, anyone who's done it will know that can drive you crazy. From finding the right one to fit your budget to liking it and wanting to stay there. You would think that it shouldn't be that tough since there are so many apartment communities out there, but liking your future home is the toughest part. Anyway, we are done with that, so that's a load off my mind. Another 3 weeks and we'll be in our new apartment. As to why we are moving, since the in-laws have gone back to India, a 2 bed apartment is too big for just the two of us. Plus the really great deal we got on the rent will no longer be applicable once the lease expires next month. So it makes sense moving out. We would have loved to stay in the same community since we like it here, but paying $1600 for a one bed apartment is just way too crazy for me.

So things are better now. Just when I thought the whole world was conspiring against me (yeah, I know...how paranoid can I get??!!)and it was just one bad thing after another, suddenly the bad things got better. And I realised things don't need to stay bad. And if they do, I can find a way to make them better. Maybe not always the way I would have liked, but at least getting better than they were. And I don't have to deal with everything together. I don't have to over-analyze and always be ready to face the worst. Sometimes it makes sense to deal with things one at a time, so that your brain can deal with it better. And if you are going through a crazzzzy phase, it helps a hell of a lot if you have a person, a partner to just listen to you. Just one person to hold you, to hug you can help you from getting crazier. Yup, I had The Better Half to do just that, thank God! (love you, Sweetie! muah!)

Hope you all have one special person to hug you in your bad times too! And don't forget to tell that person back how much you love and appreciate him/her. After all, loving and supporting you even you're being whiny is a hell of a job!

P.S- Will be visting all my blogger friends this week, yay! Can't wait to catch up on your posts :)

Investment advice wanted...for a generous fee, of course :)

2007-10-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

This is an actual email I received, which I present to you for your benefit (read as "laugh of the day)

From Mrs. monica edmond

PLOT 23 Felix Avenue

Abidjan Cote d Ivoire

Hello Friend,

Please excurse me if i have infringe into your privacy.this may be strange any way but i have no option but cry out . having gone through your profile i think i am convince you are the right fellow to confide this to.

It is my pleasure to contact you for a business venture which I and my Son, intend to establish in your country.Though I have not met with you before but I believe, one has to risk confiding in someone to succeed sometimes in life.

There is this amount of Eight million, five hundred thousand United State Dollars($8.500,000) which my late Husband deposited with a security company in Abidjan Capital city of Cote d'Ivoire which he wanted to used for his political reason in our Country before he was assassinated.

Now I and my son have decided to invest these money in your country or anywhere safe enough outside Africa for security and political reasons. We want you to help us claim and receive the consignment which will be sent to you through diplomatic means to your address to avoid any traces of the funds and to enable you plan for the investment in your Country:

I will like to invest part of the money into these three investment in your Country but, if there is any other business that is better than what I am suggestion, I will be very glad to follow your advice.

1). Real estate
2). The transport industry
3). Five star hotel

If you can be of an assistance to us we will be pleased to offer to you 20% Of the total fund while the balance will be invested by you.

I await your response soonest

Respectfully yours,

Mrs monica edmond

Any takers??? LOL :D

Random things

2007-09-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

Things have been a bit busy the last couple of weeks with the in-laws getting ready to leave soon. Sunday saw us going to visit San Francisco, visting the beautiful Golden Gate bridge again. Surprisingly there were fewer tourists than the last time we visited in December, which was probably due to the gloomy weather which looked like it might rain. Here are a few pictures of the famous bridge (couldn't get the whole view of the bridge which is twice as big).

Also visited Fisherman's Wharf which I simply cannot resist because of the awesome sea food there. Sorry, no pictures to post from there though since I was busy gulping down clam chowder and fried shrimp. hmm, I think I forgot to mention the icecream I ate later :)

Other updates: As at the end of every weekend, I gained back half a pound. I do have to mention though that since I have been trying to get in at least a minimal bit of exercise, the weight gain back has reduced to half a pound. So I'm still weighing in at 135 lbs as of this morning. Still 10 more pounds to go!

Have also been meaning to do a book read post for long now since I've had the chance to read some really good books and some not-that-great ones. Will do so in the next post.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Weight loss update

2007-09-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a month since I last blogged about my weight loss effort and I have been experiencing some strange results. Since the last two weeks, I have found that I make decent progress through the week, managing to loose round an average of 1.5 lbs. But come the weekend, when I take a break from the gym, and Monday morning, I find myself weighing in at at least a pound heavier. With this happening, my overall progress is rather slow, almost like taking double the time and effort for the usual amount of weight loss.

For those of you who gym regularly or are involved in similar efforts like me, is this normal? Do you guys experience this too?

I am now at 135 lbs and scared of getting on the scale on Monday to see that I have gained some weight again. Oh and in case you're wondering if I binge on the weekends, I don't. It is the regular diet (by which I mean a regular healthy diet and no starvation) with at the most one meal outside, usually with no dessert.

Any inputs????

Good, bad or human?

2007-09-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when I'm prone to contemplation or self-introspection, I look at myself and wonder what sort of person I am. Am I a good person, a nice person, a kind person? I know I would like to be that way; I fear though, that I am not. How could I be if I had bad/ malicious thoughts about X, felt jealous of Y, said unkind words about Z? Does the fact that I did these things make me a bad person, with no redemption? After all, thoughts and actions once said and done cannot be taken back. Or does the fact that I realize them to be unkind or ungenerous redeem me, atleast partially? Or does it make a difference only if I actually take some action to rectify the bad thoughts/ deeds? Sometimes even if we want to, there is no way to rectify things or take back words. Are we then classified as bad people?

The truth is, I guess, that there are no bad or good people. I am not a bad person; neither am I a good person. I am, quite simply put, human. Each of us has some positive and some negative aspects to our personality. Now I would say that there are some people in whom goodness seems to show exceptionally. These are probably the ones who can actually be called "good" people. And of course, there are also people in whom the dark side of nature seems to rear its head quite often. People like these are capable of committing deeds others would not dream of, be it murder, molestation or whatever. I would definitely call these sort as "bad".

As humans, there are times when our bad personality overshadows the good. Unfortunately, these are also the times when people notice and remember our actions. As it is often said- "It is your failure which is remembered, not your successes", so is it true for our actions as well. Knowing that this applies to our own actions too, should we just forgive and forget the person and move on, knowing that the person is a good person otherwise?

In other words, should we be less critical of others actions' knowing that they are human, just like us? Or should we analyse whether their bad actions outweigh the good ones, and then make a decision?

Tagged

2007-09-02T09:35:00.000-07:00

J had tagged me to do a post on the people I'm judgemental about. So here goes:

1. People who think that only their ideas matter and who refuse to listen to anyone else.

2. People who judge only on appearances, before knowing all the facts or accepting that there might be reasons for the way things appear. (I have been guilty of this too, but hopefully I've learnt better.)

3. People who lie for no rhyme or reason, and make you wonder if and when, do they ever tell the truth!!

4. People with no conscience- the backstabbers parading as friends or co-workers.

5. People who seem to have no spine or mind of their own and sway according to "the dominant wind."

6. People who are constantly finding faults in other people and their behaviour. (I wonder if this post makes me one of them!)

7. People who behave with no common courtesy or politeness to strangers or worse, even with the people they know.

Hmm...I probably am judgemental about many more things, but I think I should stop here. Thinking of unpleasant things is not really the best thing to do in the morning. So adios for now and have a good weekend, people!

Feeling lighter!

2007-08-21T11:21:00.000-07:00

It's been more than a month since I started going to the gym which includes exactly 21 days that I've actually worked out. I started out at 141 lbs and I'm now 137 lbs. Yay! My goal is 126 pounds or lighter, which will bring me back to how I looked like 2 years ago, sans the wrinkles and white hair of course. Hey, I'm just kidding- I have no wrinkles and only one white hair, I swear!

I can make out the difference already- the lovehandles are melting away and my stamina has increased manifold. Where 10 minutes of playing tennis with The Better Half had me panting, I can finish an entire hour now without feeling exhausted. Plus I'm enjoying using the stairs instead of the elevator, also due to the fact that the stairs are faster; our elevator is positively ancient considering the time it takes to move down 3 floors!

I hope I continue to give positive updates each month till I finally reach my goal. That would be an amazing moment, I bet! :)

Age differences in a relationship

2007-08-15T12:09:00.000-07:00

I've been catching up with quite a few hindi movies for the last couple of weeks. Perhaps the best of the lot has been "Cheeni Kum". The story is about a 64 year old man, who is a chef at the restaurant he also owns. He falls in love with a woman who is half his age, and the story is about how they end up together inspite of the age difference and the obstacles they have to face, mainly from her father who is a couple of years younger than her lover. It's a mature movie for the Indian audience which is typically more conservative about accepting such things. I believe the movie was well received and liked in India which gives me heart that we are finally learning to grow with the times.

Of course, watching a movie is far more different than if it happened in real life. I wonder what my parents would have done if I had ever forth such an issue before them. Threaten me with suicide or some typically indian parental threat, I suppose. Incidentally, that is what the father of the girl does too. I wonder what I would do if my daughter(hypothetically speaking, of course since I don't have kids as yet) wanted to marry a man twice her age? I hope I would be mature enough to handle the situation gracefully. But then of course, you never do know till it happens to you, do you?

While on the age difference topic, how about an older woman and a younger man? What sort of reaction does that bring out in us? Speaking for myself, I don't approve since I've been brought up with the idea that the man is always older. I remember I felt a little weird at first when I found out that The Better Half is a month younger than I am. I guess some old-fashioned ideas just stick in our head. But hey, I don't pass judgment on others who wish to make that choice. To each his own, I say. I wrote about my friend , M, who is in a similar position and now getting married to her boyfriend, 5 years her junior.(Speaking of judgement, I know I just remembered about your tag, J, and I promise I'll do it soon.) We have our Indian celebrities who are examples of that. One of them who comes to mind is our very own cricketing legend, Sachin Tendulkar, who is 5 years younger than his wife. Also an example is the latest addition to the illustrious Bacchan family, of Bollywood- Aishwarya Rai. But then these are celebrities and their ways are easily accepted by the public. What if one of the common man did something like that- would it be as easily accepted? I am talking purely in the Indian context here since I suppose the West has long ago overcome prejudices such as age and race, or is atleast way ahead of us Indians.

I remember reading an article once about this very topic of younger men and older women and it said that men reach their sexual peak at 18 whereas women reach it at 30. Therefore, the article concluded that the younger man-older woman couple made perfect sense. Well, that seemed logical enough to me. I wonder though if in such cases the woman is the one more financially stable and the younger man is sort of looking for a "mommy figure". I'm talking about couples where the age difference is more than 10 years, and not around 3-5 years which seems acceptable.

Surprisingly we don't raise our eyebrows too much at an older man-younger woman couple. I've been told that it makes sense since the man is typically the bread winner and the woman the homemaker. So older man=more financial security, and younger woman= more potential for bearing babies. I don't know if that still applies in the current scenario where women assume equal responsibility for managing household finances.

What do you think- does the age difference really matter or is it really necessary? Or is it something which seems unimportant at the start of a relationship but might make a difference later?

It's been...

2007-08-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

a Potter week! This week I finally went to see the fifth part of the series made into the movie "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix". There were several scenes from the book that had not been included, which I understand, since it would have lengthened the movie more than it's 2:18 hours duration. But overall, the general essence and story has been captured rather well starting from the first scene itself in which the Dementors attack.

I also managed to get my hands on the final book in the series "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" and I loved it! There has always been a bit of speculation about how J.K.Rowling would tie up the pieces and end the story and she has managed to do that pretty well. When I finished reading, I had the satisfaction of feeling that I finally had all my questions answered.

I wish people who think of the Harry Potter series as not worthy of adults, give it a try. What probably started out as a children's book has turned out to be a fast paced, well narrated series that captures the imagination of both adults and children. And honestly, it has too much blood and deaths in it to be called a children's book. For an adult to enjoy it, all it needs is a little bit of imagination and an open mind to exploring writing beyond the usual thrillers.

Don't miss this

2007-08-03T10:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday The Better Half and I attended a special pre-release screening of "The Bourne Ultimatum". If you're wondering how it was, I have one word to describe it -AWESOME. This sequel has all the answers to the first two parts and now we finally get to know who Jason Bourne really is and what happened to him. I was drawn into the movie right from the first five minutes and really regretted the large can of Coke I was drinking which made me take a short break from the movie. I can't help thinking that the book must be even more amazing with more minute details added in and I'm definitely going to borrow it from the library.

And to top it, I got to see the movie before it released today. Yoohoo!! Go watch it folks!! This is one movie you shouldn't miss, especially if you have seen the first two parts, The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy.

Interesting

2007-07-30T10:52:00.000-07:00

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes its partner in crime.

- Read this somewhere and found it worth sharing. Couldn't help but remembering this post of mine where I was trying to figure out which way it works best- the head ruling the heart or vice versa.

I'm still here...in case you're wondering :)

2007-07-27T18:40:00.000-07:00

While I'm elated at having celebrated my 100th post, I'm sad that I haven't been able to blog as regularly as before. Not that I've run out of things to say (god forbid!) but I've now embarked upon a new activity -gymming. After hoping for quite a few months that my random bursts of activity (read as tennis and swimming)would lighten the scales a bit, and realising that the hope isn't being realized, I decided to get firmer with myself. So now I use my precious blogging time in the morning to go gymmming for an hour. I have been able to maintain this for two weeks and I hope to continue to do so. I also fervently hope that the scales will show some change for the better in a month or so - even a teeny weeny change would be inspiring. As a person who has struggled to keep the weight issue in control, it would also make a big difference to the way I feel and my self-confidence. Ideally I would like to get back to how I looked 2 years ago, just before I got married- about 20 pounds lighter. I was in great shape then with no pot-belly or love handles. Alas, the sweet happiness of marriage has literally fattened me up! LOL :D

I've really missed blogging and reading my fellow bloggers posts', so I now have to find a new suitable time which I can devote solely to blogging. The mornings were my favourite time though; it felt like reading a newspaper, catching up on news and giving my views on things I read about, sort of like the morning cuppa chai.

I have lots of things to talk about, and I will post about them soon. Meanwhile, have a good weekend!

Just for fun

2007-07-19T10:43:00.000-07:00

Your Love Life is Like Casablanca

"Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time."
For you, love is never finished. If you've loved someone once, you'll always love them.You're an old fashioned romantic... even if your relationships don't end up as romantic as you'd like.
Your love style: Traditional and understated
Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Complicated and ambiguous.

What Movie Is Your Love Life Like?

And with that I celebrate my 100th post!!Woohoo!!

* Sorry the link wasn't working before but it is now.

Feeling Good!

2007-07-13T19:19:00.001-07:00

For 2 reasons :

1. Had a much needed, pretty haircut

2. Bought some sexy lingerie from Frederick's of Hollywood

Teehee!! :D

8 random things

2007-07-12T19:36:00.000-07:00

Bobkat tagged me to write a post on 8 random things about myself. So here goes:

1. I've always dreamt of having a nice little house (preferably peach or pink) with white picket fences and a garden full of rose bushes. I hope that dream comes true some day.

2. I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was young. I remember drawing dresses all the time in school and everyone telling me that I should get into designing. Maybe I would have, if my father hadn't insisted that I get a professional degree (read as "engineering" or "medical") and that's how I ended up as an engineer.

3. I like reading books more than anything else in the world (I'm sure that would have been easily guessed). I once didn't study for an exam scheduled the next day simply coz I hadn't finished the book I was reading. And if you're curious- yes, I did manage to study after I finally finished the book and passed the exam too!

4. I find it difficult to make small talk and even more difficult to tell the small lies that people make at parties/ occasions. It's quite difficult for me to talk to someone I don't like or reply to a question I don't like, so most of the time I make do with a smile and just pray for deliverance soon. So if I talk to you a lot, that means I really like you :)

5. I like going to places which are quiet and not so popular with the tourist crowd. I'd rather be alone on a small secluded beach than with hundred others on a large busy one.

6. People often compliment me on my smile and my laugh. I wish growing up didn't mean losing the ability to laugh as often as I once did.

7. I want to go bungee jumping at least once in my lifetime. I'm sure I'd probably pee in my pants doing it though :D

8. I was a yellow belt in karate in school , though sometimes I wonder if my instructor passed me only out of pity. The pity was probably both towards me and my brother- he was really good and only one exam away from a black belt.

Anyone who wants to take up this tag is welcome to do so.

* EU, I just noticed that you had tagged me to mention 7 things about myself. What a coincidence :)

The Bullying Syndrome

2007-07-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

I've just finished reading Jodi Picoult's "Nineteen Minutes" and this author doesn't cease to amaze me with her sensitive topics and the way she approaches them. A lot can happen in nineteen minutes. Your world could change in nineteen minutes. For that's all it takes for Peter Houghton, to go on a school rampage and kill 10 students and injure several others. That's the explosive start to this book which goes on to explain how a sensitive young man, bullied on for his whole life, eventually ends up killing others.

When I read this book, I couldn't help but think back to my school days and the teasing I've gone through. Luckily, I didn't get to endure too much of it since I was always an excellent student who topped my class. But the taunts about my weight have always made me obsess about it. Even when I was skinny, all I could see in the mirror was a fat girl. I am much more comfortable with the way I look now, thanks to The Better Half appreciating me for what I am. I still haven't forgotten though.

One thing I have learned from my experiences and others is that kids can be cruel. It takes two seconds for them to come up with a name for the unfortunate kid picked on and a long time for that kid to erase it. Luckily, most of us have a strong self preservation system and we find ways to boost our self esteem by doing well in areas like arts or sports or studies. But what about the truly average kid who has nothing to fall back on? I find that the humiliating and embarrassing moments are the ones that stick out in our memory rather than the wonderful and happy ones. A place like school where you are judged by how much you can fit in with your peers, can be a horrifying experience if you stand out by being less than ordinary. Either you are totally ignored or you are remembered by the name/ incident you are made fun of.

Do bullies ever realize what they are doing? Do they ever apologize for their actions? Do they change to be better people when they grow up (as we would all like to believe)?

Fictional truth

2007-07-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

"You lot (women) like to waffle on about how you feel the entire time, like relationships require some kind of perpetual football commentary. Men are usually waiting for the right moment. And we're never sure when that right moment is. That doesn't mean we're not feeling it."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you reckon sometimes obstacles are there to make you want something more?

Within reason. There's no point climbing and climbing over obstacles if you're too knackered to enjoy the view, you know?"

- Borrowed from Hester Browne's delightfully charming and funny book "Little Lady, Big Apple".

I'm back!

2007-07-03T07:50:00.000-07:00

I promised I'd be back with stories so let me start right away with what kept me busy the last week. It kicked off with us attending the graduation ceremony of The Better Half's cousin, NG, who lived at an almost 2 hours drive away from us. This was the first graduation I would be attending in the US and I was curious to see the proceedings. NG was one of a graduating class of nine physicians (specializing in Family Practice) and her husband, AG, was telling us about one particular thing during the ceremony called "roasting". Each of the students has his/her own advisor and each advisor narrates how it was working with the student and gives him/her a special gift, sometimes sentimental, most of the times a prank gift, and this is what is called roasting. It was just as fun as we had expected. NG got earplugs from her advisor due to some incidents she had which involved faculty yelling at her for no fault. Another student, a soon-to-be father, got diapers and baby stuff. One student who was moving to Oregon got a knitting kit to keep her warm during the winters and another got Disney T-shirts and merchandise coz he apparently wanted to go to Disneyland with his kids. The ceremony itself was quite nice, and we later realized that the Director of the school, who was conducting the ceremony had managed to involve the entire audience. All of us were asked to stand up and be recognized, as family of the students, faculty, alumni, current students, graduating students, practically everyone. After the ceremony there was a fun part of the show where they played a game called "Guess the Doctor" and imitated certain faculty and their hilarious habits. I hope none of the faculty was around to watch that! There was also this really fun movie about the life of a pillowcase in the intern's rooms and boy, if that's all the places it had been, I would never ever touch one in a hospital again! The best part of the show was a slideshow about each of the interns. Each had a different music to accompany it and showed their favourite pictures of their special moments and with family. It was like getting insight into their personal lives even though we personally didn't know any of them.

That took the better part of the afternoon away and we retired to NG's house till the evening, when we went to an Italian restaurant for dinner. There were 12 of us for the entire day's celebrations, including NR (NG's elder sister) and her family, NR and NG's parents, The Better Half and I with his parents. It was fun and also a little sad since NG and AG were moving in the next couple of days to Houston, where they intend to settle. Since we all get along so well, it was sad to see them go knowing that we would see them again only once in a while or so.

The next couple of days went by in preparing for a dinner party at our house for NR and NG's family. That was fun too except for one little incident where I was stretching to reach for something in the kitchen and instead slipped and found myself lying flat on the kitchen floor with NG trying to prevent the food falling over me. That would have be a funny sight indeed with me sprawled on the floor with a pot of rice overturned on my head. LOL :D Luckily, there was no harm done with either me or the food. I cooked tons of food with my mother-in-law contributing her fair share and as a result, we were still finishing off the food a couple of days later.

The later part of the week saw us hosting another dinner for my second cousin, PS, who is pregnant and about to deliver a baby any day now. Her mother who's visiting from India to help her through the pregnancy and delivery had joined us too and therefore, I was quite anxious that the dinner should be a success. Her mother is my mother's cousin and I wanted the reports of my superior (ahem!) cooking skills to reach my mother when she went back. The thing is, my mother goes all out to cook when we have company. There are atleast 6-8 different dishes spread out on the table and it is quite a challenge for me to preserve the tradition. To top it, my mother refuses to believe me when I tell her I had cooked this or that dish particularly well putting even The Better Half's praise down to a bias. So you can understand why I cooked with a vengeance laying out a spread of Tomato Chicken (thanks again, Asha!), Paneer Butter Masala, Fried Pomfret Fish, Ghee Rice, Chappatis and some yummy salad. Mother-in-law had made some tasty Bharleli Vangi (Stuffed Eggplant) too. But then again, my scheme seemed to have failed since my mother just mentioned today that she had heard of the dinner and the good food but "obviously everyone always says the food is good" which was endorsed by my dad too. Now what is a girl to do to prove she can cook?!! Sigh :(

Finally the weekend arrived but we had to cancel our plans of going out. The Gilroy Garlic Festival was on and I had been planning to attend that for quite some time but The Better Half's work interfered. He was probably happy for the first time about having to work since he hadn't been quite as enthusiastic as me about attending the festival. Ah well, I have extracted a promise for next year and he better not break it!

This week promises to be quite a peaceful one since not only are we having no visitors, but the in-laws are away in Texas for a fortnight, visiting NG and NR's parents. It's only the two of us ! (naughty wink ;) )

Hasta La Vista

2007-06-26T10:41:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted much in the last week or so. Unfortunately I might not post till next week. It's not for lack of material to blog about; infact I have been wanting to blog but I seem to have no time. We're entertaining guests pretty much this whole week and I can see myself spending an extraordinary amount of time in the kitchen. I also am anticipating a weekend visit and if that happens, I should have quite a few pictures next week when I return to blogging. I am missing reading my usual blogs too. Sigh :(

Ah, well..I will be back soon!

True

2007-06-20T10:25:00.000-07:00

The essentials of a good partnership lie in the essence of a comfortable familiarity, of silence that speaks a thousand words, glances that reveal unseen thoughts, a trust that does not need to be tested and an ability to recognize ( and therefore understand) all of these.

Book Tag

2007-06-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by Jewel Rays to do this post. The tag needs me to publish the 5th paragraph of page 123 of the book I am currently reading. (if the page does not have 5th paragraph, take the last paragraph.And if the book doesn’t have page no. 123, take the last page.)

The book I'm currently reading is How to Succeed in Murder by Margaret Dumas. It's a light read about (no- not how to actually committ murder and get away with it, did u really think that? :P ), but rather how a series of murders are uncovered and solved. Ok, on with the tag.

And this is what the 5th para on page 123 was -

"I gave her a blank look."

Sorry, I had hoped there would be something much more interesting than that. Of course, I wasn't expecting something profound from a murder mystery but atleast something substantial or thought provoking to show that I have a really good taste when it comes to books. (But the truth is, every once in a while in between the really good books, I do read terribly boring books. But hey, let me not discredit Margaret Dumas's writing. This was a fairly decent book though not exactly what I would call a page-turner.) I suppose I should have picked up something more philosphical or maybe even worth emulating like "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". Maybe even something from the "Dummies" series for a laugh. While on that, I actually checked to see if there is a book on "Swimming for Dummies". God knows I could use that! Unfortunately, this was one of the rare occasions that Google failed me.

And now if someone were to ask me what I'm blabbering on about, I would say the 5th para aptly suits the occasion.

It doesn't get any fresher than this

2007-06-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

So I thought I would have a blissful weekend? It was, if picking cherries in the hot sun is your idea of bliss. But of course, it's ok to sacrifice a little if it's your favourite fruit you are picking straight off the trees :). We went to Brentwood, CA where people are allowed to pick cherries and various other fruits likes peaches, nectarines and strawberries at the farm. And the bonus being you can eat as many as you want while you're picking! There's only one rule to be followed- You pay for whatever you've picked (in your basket, and not your stomach, in case you're wondering :D). There were 7 of us who set off together including D and his wife who have been accompanying us on our previous trips. Quite a lot of the farms had already closed the u-pick season since there are tons of tourists visting every weekend. After all, who can resist picking their own fruit? After quite some driving around, we finally got to a farm (Nunn Better Farms) which still allowed u-picking. And what a sight the cherry trees were!

Since it was lunchtime, we couldn't wait to eat the sweet fruit while filling our buckets. Several cherry burps later (I can vouch for myself), all of us ended up buying around 3 pounds worth of fresh cherries each.

Sunday was a total rest-at-home affair. The Better Half and I curled up on the sofa watching the DVD of "Sex and the city- the first season" which I had borrowed from the library. My mother-in-law joined us for some time though I think she must have been quite shocked at the episode where the girls buy a pink vibrator and the one in which Charlotte dreams of a threesome. It's definitely not a show for the prude! The Better Half and I quite enjoyed it though for the sassy and smart series that it is and are looking forward to getting Season 2 as well. Another series I want to start watching from the start is "Desperate Housewives" which I've totally missed after the first season that I saw in India.

Well, it's back to the monotonous weekday routine!

Books read and a movie

2007-06-08T10:10:00.000-07:00

Hmm...this is going to be a post about books and a movie, so those of you who don't like reviews- you have been warned.

I have read a lot of books over the last few weeks, more than 10 if I care to count. But of course I'll talk only about the ones I found most interesting. The first on that list would be "Outlander" by Diana Gabaldon. This book had me hooked from the very beginning. Without giving too much away, let me tell you what it's about. It's the story of Claire Randall, a nurse who is visiting the Scottish Highlands with her husband. Their romantic vacation soon turns into an amazing visit into the past for Claire, who is thrown back through time when she touches a boulder used in rituals by witches. She then meets a strapping Scottish lad Jamie (who had me drooling all through the book) and ends up inadvertently getting married to him. The rest of the book is about how Claires struggles with her heart and her head ( befitting my previous post ;) ) about which man she wants to be with- her new young husband in the past or her husband she has accidentally been separated from. Mix this with lots of drama about the battle between the English and the Scots, the rivalry between the Scottish clans and the amazing range of characters, each of them vividly picturised. Diana Gabaldon has so wonderfully caught the emotions between each of the characters that it is practically impossible to put this book down. And if you're thinking this is a love story, you're not wrong but it's so much more. It's about people and traditions and values and morals. Well, let me just say - this is a capital read.

The second best book I read was "The Life of Pi" by Yann Martel. I had read a lot of stuff about it when it won the Booker Prize but I always had this notion that award winning books are boring so I never had any inclination to read it. The title isn't really too fetching either but when I read a description by the author saying that this story makes you want to believe in God, my curiosity was piqued. And what an interesting story it is! Pi, short for Piscine Motor Patel, is the son of a zookeeper in Pondicherry, India. His family decides to migrate to Canada and enroute to Canada by ship, a disaster strikes. Pi finds the ship sinking and is the lone survivor on a lifeboat. Rather, he is the lone human survivor since the other inhabitants of the ship turn out to be a hyena, a Royal Bengal Tiger, a gorilla and a zebra. Only Pi and the Tiger are left at the end among this motley crew and the amazing part of the book is how Pi manages to stay alive for 8 months floating in the ocean without being eaten alive. No, fear not, I have not disclosed everything, for my narration is just a gist and does not take anything away from this beautifully simple and well-written story.

One last review for the book on the side-bar of my blog, Robin Cook's Crisis- I thought it would be interesting but it turned out to be more of a drag. Probably the last three-fourth part is where the interest arises. The ending was definitely a twist though. I would rather not write much about the plot since it would not leave anything to the imagination (and also since as usual, Robin Cook's books involve way too much medical mumbo-jumbo).

We also watched a Hindi movie yesterday " Ek Chalis ke Last Local" (The Last Train at 1:40am). An unusual story about how a man misses his last train home and ends up in some rather strange situations. Two and a half hours later, when he catches the early morning train, he is richer by 20 million Indian Rupees. It's a light movie, a pretty good watch for how the different characters meet together in unthinkable situations, what I would call "Timepass".

As for the weekend, it should be another blissfull one of rest and relaxation, apart from the usual grocery shopping and laundry of course!

Heart over Head?

2007-06-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

All of us are very different in the way we react to things or situations. Some of us are quick, precise and efficient while some of us are slower to react to things though just as effective. How we react also depends on the type of situation. If it is a professional situation, we react taking the facts of the situation in account and considering its repercussions or effects. This is what I call "thinking with the head". But if it is a personal situation, a lot of us react "thinking with the heart".

I myself am a person who thinks with the head. Of course there are situations where I take emotions into account and make decisions to satisfy emotional needs of mine/ others. At such times my head tells me that this isn't necessarily a wise decision. But I overlook it for what my heart says. But if someone were to ask me, I would say the majority of my decisions are based on what my head tells me. Indeed the most crucial decisions I have taken so far, even one involving a lot of emotional upheaval for both me and my family have been based on the head. At such times, I have felt that the disturbance caused will be justified by the results of logical thinking and fortunately, that has been the case. I would go as far as to say that I have been able to handle emotional or difficult situations many times only because I have looked at the situation with a detached view and considered it logically or practically.

However I know a lot of people who make decisions totally with their heart. I envy these people at times since it takes a lot of courage to do so. It is not an easy task to decide wholly on the basis of emotions even when you can predict an undesirable outcome. Such people either must have a very generous or loving heart or must be quite foolish. Maybe even both.

Of course the best way would be to fuse both the head and the heart in their thoughts. That would be, I imagine, one of the toughest things to do since typically both follow different directions. But if done, our decisions would be so much easier to make. For it is the tussle between both that make decisions that much tougher.

Are you a head or heart person? Or have you been able to learn to fuse both?

Sometimes a smile just ain't good enough

2007-06-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had an unpleasant experience which altered the really good impression I had of bus drivers. As a rule, bus drivers in the US are pleasant people, who usually greet you as you enter the bus and wave goodbye as you exit. My very first bus ride is a nice memory and set the basis for the feel-good feeling I have towards them. On my part, I always thank them as I get off, for taking me safely to my destination. Yesterday, however I had a totally different experience.

As usual I caught my bus to go to my regular destination. I entered the bus and deposited the money for the fare. Since I had a lot of coins to put in, I took some time and when I ended, I gave the driver a smile. He didn't respond back but I didn't really bother about that and proceeded to sit. No sooner had I sat down than he looked in the mirror and said really loudly, so that everybody could hear - "Don't give me that fake smile of yours...". He also said a lot of other things which I couldn't comprehend probably coz I was too shocked by his first statement to pay attention to what followed. I was so confused and smiled a little coz I wasn't sure what he meant but the hostile tone in which the rest of his barrage followed, left me in no doubt that it definitely was not complimentary. I decided to just ignore him but nevertheless the incident left me feeling humiliated and embarrassed. I didn't understand what I had done to tick him off. I got off at my stop without giving him a second glance.

When I narrated this incident to my colleague S, she said he was probably having a bad day. Well, who cares if he was? I certainly didn't deserve to get that sort of treatment from him for no reason except that I was trying to be nice! Not only did he ruin my day, his behavior will affect the respect that I have for those worthy citizens who are responsible for delivering us to our destinations safely and in time. I will think twice before smiling at them, probably any stranger, lest I face unsavoury comments again.

I know we all have our bad days, but that is no excuse to ruin other people's moods. Is it that difficult to just accept a smile from a stranger? The least you can do is not be rude if you don't want to return the smile.

Sometimes a smile just ain't good enough.

A trip to Yosemite

2007-05-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

The weekend that just passed was a long one, with a holiday on Monday for Memorial Day. Everyone we knew was planning to visit someplace and we too decided to make a short trip to Yosemite National Park. The plan was to make it a one-day affair so that we had enough time to recuperate over the remaining days of the weekend. It was roughly around a 4 hour drive to the park entrance, but took us much longer with stops in between. It was the same group that had accompanied us on our last trip to LA, but unlike last time we were unable to rent a 8 seater vehicle and ended up taking separate cars. M and his family were in one rental car, us in another, and D and his wife in their own car. Unlike the rest of us, D barely gets to drive his new Toyota Camry and therefore is eager to drive at any chance he gets. He is an excellent driver and has often been the designated driver, driving for hours on end on road trips. Those were the days when The Better Half was still a new driver and I had not yet got my license.

The drive took us longer than expected with us taking a few wrong turns in between. Thankfully, The Better Half's cousin, NG, whose baby shower we had attended the previous week, lived on the way. When we called them up for directions, it turned out that they were on the road too, only a few miles away from us. It was an unexpected pleasant surprise, meeting them thus and now, with detailed instructions from them, we set out again.

We finally reached Yosemite around 2 pm and then set off to see the various points we could cover in the remaining time left. This was our first trip to Yosemite and it was indeed gorgeous. Green pines enclosed our road and at times, sheer mountain cliffs.

The most magnificent one, I thought, was the Half Dome peak, which looked like a dome sliced in half.

We also spent a lot of time at Yosemite Falls, the 6th tallest waterfall in the world and boy, was that fun! The water was from the snow melting and it's spray was instantly revitalizing. The falls looked deceptively small from a distance and it was only when we got there that we saw how huge it actually was. We climbed up the rocks so that we could be closer and it felt just refreshing, with the cold spray making us all feel younger than we were, making even the quietest of us perk up and feel lively.

We then drove up to Glacier Point, which had a wonderful view of Yosemite. By this time, it was almost 8 pm, just minutes away from sunset. We then left for home, tired beyond words but agreeing that it was a wonderful experience. We finally reached home after 2 am, and the bed was a welcome sight. The next 2 days were just spent at home relaxing.

No more trips for some time, is what we've decided. Just some good rest and relaxation at home, sweet home!

Fear

2007-05-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

Fear - that element in our lives which we all experience and which each of us experience in a unique way. There are different types of fears we all live with. There is the inconsequential fear which we probably face every day. " I fear whether I will get up on time. I fear whether I will get that important job done today."- these are the inconsequential or only mildly consequential fears. Indeed, they are too mild to be called "fears". Probably "scares" is a better word for them.

And then there are the real fears. Fears which occupy our moments of wakefullness for a good amount of time; fears which make it difficult to sleep at night. Fears which we manage to put to sleep for a short while, and then when they awaken, chill us with a vengeance. Those are the fears worth conquering, which make us feel like a victor when we can put them behind us and say - And now you shall bother me no more.

Each of us has his/her own unique personal real fear. Some people fear- Will I ever get my dream job, will I ever enjoy the work I'm doing? Other people fear - Will I ever meet the person of my dreams, the person with whom I can spend my life with? And still other people fear other things. Whatever our fears are, they have the potential to unsettle us, to make us feel that something somewhere is stopping us from getting to the point we want to be in, from making our world feel just right.

Yesterday in the midst of an emotional discussion with The Better Half, I discovered what my real fears were. The words tumbled out of me before I could analyze or stop them. "I'm scared...scared that I will never be happy, scared that one day I will look back at myself and think that I have achieved nothing important in life."

The words I uttered got me thinking. Why did I say them, and more importantly, what was my definition of happiness? If anyone were to ask me if I am happy, I would say I was- I have a good life and a wonderful husband. Yet I suspect the happiness I am looking for lies far beyond these "necessary on the surface" factors. True happiness comes from the soul. I suspect there is an emptiness there and I feel the need to fill that with something concrete. My filler needs to be a validation of my necessity, a need to know that I am something more than just an incident in the bigger scheme of things, that I have abilities and skills worth demonstrating to the world. I must find a way to do this, to demonstrate my usefullness, if I am to be happy. How I can achieve this and conquer my fear is something I need to figure out.

What is your greatest fear? What are you doing to conquer it?

A feasting weekend

2007-05-21T13:18:00.000-07:00

It's Monday and I'm still recovering from the tiring weekend. The action started on Friday with me baking cookies and brownies as soon as I got up in the morning. The occasion was a party given by my in-laws for their 35th anniversary on Saturday. They have a fairly big senior citizens group in our community, around 20 odd couples, all of them from different parts of India. Since many of their friends would be out visiting places on the weekend, the in-laws wanted to celebrate it a day before, on Friday itself. I didn't have to cook lunch for the party, since they were ordering samosas and some Indian sweets from the store. However, I thought it would be nice if I could contribute and my mother-in-law said cookies would be fine. I decided on some eggless brownies in addition so that the totally vegan people, like my father-in-law, could eat some dessert too. The cookies turned out well, however the brownies were a dismal failure. It was my first attempt at making them and I had no clue that I should be taking them out of the owen when they were soft, since they would harden later. My brownies ended up being "blackies", charred at the edges and really hard even in the tasty and edible parts. Ah well, a lesson learned for next time.

The better part of my afternoon was spent in cutting chicken, which is a really tiresome process when you buy whole chicken, and preparing it for the next day's menu. I always feel that something I can make on my own is better than any gift I can buy, and so I asked my mother-in-law what she would like to eat. She opted for Chicken Biryani, and I decided to take help from this blogger, whose recipes have gotten me compliments many a times from The Better Half. Very aptly too, she had posted a recipe for Hyderabadi Murgh (Chicken) Biryani and I decided that it would be perfect. Lunch on the anniversary was at this really nice Indian restaurant, Kokila's Kitchen, which had an amazing buffet of authentic Indian food and that too, totally vegan, so that my father-in-law could enjoy a nice array of dishes without being restricted to a few vegan choices. The food was quite tasty and felt homemade and I was full without even trying half of the buffet. The only con was, I thought, that a couple of the dishes seemed a little oily. I guess that is a given in any Indian restaurant though. We then went shopping for a baby shower gift and got home quite late at about 4 pm.

As the evening approached, I set about making the Murgh Biryani. It's often cumbersome when not everyone has the same food choices since you end up making more dishes, but my father-in-law is pretty non-fussy about food and will settle for something simple when all of us are having meat or fish. However, it was his special day too and I decided to use do the exact same biryani for him except that I marinated veggies for him instead of the chicken. I ended up spending more time in the kitchen, about 3.5 hours finishing everything but the end result was well worth it. When everybody declared that the food was amazing, I was so totally satisfied :) Thanks, Asha for your wonderful recipe! We winded up watching a new Marathi movie online, hooking up our laptop to our TV to get a bigger screen effect.

The next day was a Sunday and it started out pretty hectic too. I had my swimming class at 9 am and I was the first to rise even after sleeping around 1 am the previous night. I guess the past couple of days had tired me out and even my swimming instructor could see that I was swimming quite badly. I still cannot manage to breathe in the water and as result, I end up struggling in the water instead of embracing it and being one with it. It was quite embarrassing since all the other people, all of them guys incidentally, in my batch were swimming a decent length and I was struggling to do even half of that. That is something which I am pretty upset about and I am determined to do better at my next class. I wondered for a while if men find it easier to swim with more physical strength. My doubt was promptly dismissed when I saw a woman from the next batch swim as well as them. So it's just me and no external factors involved here. I hope the water-gods bless me and I am able to conquer my weaknesses.

We then attended a baby shower thrown for The Better Half's cousin, NG. Her elder sister, NR, had organized it for her and it was lovely with the guests' seating places decorated with tiny miniature pink baby prams, rattles, shoes, and a safety pin. As you must have guessed, the baby to be born is a girl, hence the pink theme. NR and NG are the closest relatives The Better Half has here in the US. Their father is my mother-in-law's cousin and both the sisters moved with the family to the US when they were barely 5. The sisters and their husbands are nice company and it is always fun to visit with them. One incident I must mention about the party was the "sucking" contest. This was exclusively for the men and it worked this way- each of the men was given a baby bottle with apple juice in it and whoever finished the bottle first was the winner. Obviously, all the women had a great time cheering on the men and it was fun to watch each man tryin to accomplish the task. Some of them complained about their jaws hurting and wondered how babies managed to do it, to which one of them quipped" It's survival for them, my friend." LOL :D . Guess who the winner was? None other than The Better Half himself! The victor was announced, followed by quite a few naughty comments on the performance. ;)

Another thing worth mentioning was the dessert at the party. The cake was beautiful, with an actual picture of NG and her husband on the top! I was quite curious and amazed how that was done, and NR's husband told me that the print of the picture is taken on special edible paper with edible ink used. Amazing! There were a variety of desserts other than the cake, some yummy chocolate pastries, icecream, and another dessert, all of which were made by one of the guests, K. Apparently K is a great chef, and having eaten his goodies earlier too, I can vouch that he is as good as a professional one. But surprisingly that isn't his profession, just his hobby; he is actually a hot-shot in a big IT giant!

So that was the end of our long and tiring, although fun weekend. I'm still trying to wake up and get started on my tasks. I have a heap of clothes to iron...Sigh! But first for some beauty sleep, a little afternoon siesta to give me energy :)

Woman, awaken yourself

2007-05-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

"Women should know their place. There are certain things that are a man's domain, that they (women) should not interfere in."

This statement was made by a female colleague of mine in India. It shocked and surprised me, because she was a woman who could definitely not be described as "weak" or "suppressed", and yet she believed that her own sex needed to have limitations, to have boundaries forced on them.

Will we women ever get the equality we want and deserve, if we do not believe in that right ourselves? Will we let our "places" be defined for us or will we go out and make our niche in society ourselves? Will we make our own decisions, decide our own directions or merely follow a path since that is shown to us coz "that is what women are supposed to do"?

We need to do what is right for us, what we desire to do, not what others expect or want us to do. Maybe we can't take giant steps in implementing that; it would be too much to expect society to suddenly change. But we can certainly take one little step, one at a time. And if we don't believe in ourselves, then why will others?

I believe that as women, we are the creators of life, and therefore one of the most powerful forces on this planet. We are capable of achieving anything we want if we only put our minds to it. And yet we let this unleashed power inside us lay dormant or subdued.

We can make a difference. All we need to do is believe.

Entertainment is Universal

2007-05-14T15:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, am back from our visit to Los Angeles, the Entertainment capital of the US and ready to blog! It was a long drive to LA, since we opted to take the scenic route with quite a few stops so we reached there only by Friday night. One of the things that I absolutely loved about the drive was this stop we took at a little beach at Santa Monica on the way. The major beach at Santa Monica, which we visited the next day, was huge with hundreds of people biking, exercising, playing or just tanning on the beach. There were lots of props for exercises, like the military type of rope exercises and calisthenics where people could use ropes to swing from one end to another. The variety of things being done were so wonderful that you could just sit there watching people do their stuff. I've never really seen a beach with so much varied activity so that was exciting, but I think I still preferred the tinier beach with the silence and lesser crowd. Check out how beautiful that tiny beach looked!

The next day, Saturday, we visited Universal Studios, which was a whole day affair. We simply did not realise how time flew away and before we knew it, it was 6 pm and the park was closed. There was a lot to see, like the studio tour which is a must-see for first timers. We were taken around in a tram and shown different sets where movies were filmed, like the Bates Hotel from Psycho, the clock tower from "Back to the Future", the lake from Jaws and even a set from War of the Worlds. I am a big fan of the Desperate Housewives show, so I was pretty excited by the visit to Wisteria Lane. The tour also included some amazing stunts and also showed us how the rain, flood and lightning effects happen, as well as how crash scenes are shot. We also got to see studio cars from different movies like "The Fast and the Furious" , "Jurassic Park", "The Mummy" and "Back to the Future". The 2 hour tour was definitely a lot of fun.

After this, we sat on quite a few rides all of which were theme based. The "Revenge of the Mummy"ride was probably the best of all. It was amazing though short with us riding into a cave with voices coming at us and the characters from the movie used to scare us just before the ride began. I particularly remember the huge statue of the priest Imhotep from the movie above the entrance saying in a really scary voice "Now your souls belong to me".Whew!

The other really good shows included the 4D Shrek movie which was a short 15-20 minute movie about what happened after Shrek and Princess Fiona get married after the end of the 1st Shrek movie. 4 D effects included our seats moving up and down if there was a sequence of horses running and even water spraying on us when Donkey sneezes. That felt almost repulsive until I realized he didn't really sneeze on me. LOL! There was also a Terminator 2 show where we got to see our governor, only on film though, Mr. Schwarnegger (whew-had to look up on the net how to spell that) which was also a 3 D show. Characters playing Sarah and John Connor, from the movie ran in front of us as part of the show playing their parts, and then mysteriously would appear on the screen as the real actors. This story was also a take-off on the ending of the second part. Last but not the least, there was a show based on "Waterworld", the Kevin Costner movie and this was the most fun show coz the characters playing the villain's sidekicks actually interacted with the audience. There were benches for the audiences labelled "Soak Zone" and whoever ended up on that seat was drenched by the end with the characters throwing water on them or being splashed by the effects carried out.

That was the end of our long day at Universal and unfortunately we had to leave though we missed a couple of rides we wanted to go on. Before leaving Universal City, The Better Half and I had a caricature of us made by an artist which we thought was absolutely amazing. Check it out!

The next day we went for a drive to Beverly Hills, where the rich and the famous of LA live. I've never seen more beautiful homes before, with each trying to outdo its neighbour and not one of them looking similar to the other in any fashion. We continued on to do window shopping at Rodeo Drive, which had all the top brands of the world on that single street, be it Gucci, Tiffanys, Armani, Bijan or Louis Vitton. As if to add splendor to the street, there were the most amazing cars parked on the sidewalk- Porsches, a Carrera GT and even a Ducati. We were among those who were busy taking pictures of these awesome cars when suddenly two men walked out of the store in front and stood in front of the car busy talking to each other. I was trying to get a nice picture of the car and was annoyed by their actions when suddenly one of the men opened the car and sat inside. Stunned, all I could do was move away. Realizing he was the owner, people around started taking his picture and he didn't bat an eyelid, apparently used to this sort of behavior from the crowd. Ah, such is the lifestyle of the rich and the famous!

After a visit to the Santa Monica Beach, the bigger beach which I mentioned before, we set off back home and finally reached there well after midnight. That was a fun trip and I'm sure we'll go back for more. We still have Disneyland to visit :)

Hollywood, here I come

2007-05-11T07:20:00.000-07:00

Well, if only for a visit :) Am off to LA for the weekend. Will be back with pictures. Everyone, have a great weekend!

Cultural experiences

2007-05-07T17:23:00.000-07:00

This Sunday, we went to the Cinco de Mayo festival in San Jose. I was quite curious to see what it was about, since it is quite a big festival for the Mexicans here in the US though apparently not really celebrated that much in Mexico itself. Definitely a way to learn more about other cultures, I thought, and I persuaded The Better Half to arrange for a trip. We missed the parade though, which I'm sure must have been amazing, from the few pictures I saw on the Internet, and managed to make it only for the outdoor festivities. There were a couple of stages put up, with live performances by bands -one in particular was quite a crowd puller, with the singers dressed in costume with Mexican hats and crooning love songs, which I liked even though I could not understand the language- and lots of stalls put up by product companies giving free samples of beverages and even toilet paper. I must admit I was surprised since that part of the festivities seemed more like a marketing gimmick than the local arts and crafts that I was expecting. In fact, these stalls outnumbered the art and craft ones in terms of both quantity as well as the people interested. All of them had a common theme:you stand in line to turn your "wheel of fortune" and get your lucky prize. It was fun to do it a few times and all of us stood in different lines ending up with lots of assorted things like bowls, a cap, a T-shirt and a spoon holder. There were stalls which did not really care about what we were lucky enough to get and just believed that everyone gets the same things, and I ended up with a packet of Ramen noodles, packets of steak seasoning (which I'm sure I will never ever use), and several rolls of toilet paper. Being unprepared for this showering of freebies, we stopped when our tiny bag was full. The seasoned veterans, who undoubtedly come to this celebration every year and hence aware of the freebies, walked around with lots of bags full of stuff. When the bags fell short, other things were used to hold them, even kids' strollers. Guess what the most pre-dominant item was in every bag I saw? Yes, of course-toilet paper . LOL.

Apart from these distracting stalls, there were the real Mexican stalls- the ones selling crafts and the ones selling food. Unfortunately all of us were not really hungry and we didn't really sample the different things available like we should have. While I had a "Mango on a Stick" and shared some tacos with The Better Half, the in-laws only settled for a fruit cup. It being a hot summer's day, we left for home after a few hours at the festival.

Once home, we settled down to watch "Namastey London". It was quite in line with the theme of the day- cultural experiences. I didn't really like the movie, though I thought it started off really well with a theme about how the leading lady (played by Katrina Kaif), who has been born and brought up in London, has absolutely no interest in having an arranged marriage with an Indian man, though her parents want her to do so. I stopped liking it when I found it difficult to swallow the storyline- how the Indian man she gets married to, (played by Akshay Kumar) who is shown to be a village born and educated man, replusive at times due to the way he lecherously looks at Katrina, suddenly transforms into a smartly dressed sophosticated looking man once he gets married to Katrina and moves to London. Does the city really change a man so much? I wonder. Also the way Katrina spends time with him, despite her refusal to accept the marriage, being only a ritual one and not legal, and despite her dislike of him- I found that hard to accept too. Strictly a one-time watch.

*Updated with pics

Brown skinned girl

2007-05-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

That's what I think when I look at myself. Of course practically all of us Indians come in the brown-skinned category, but by Indian standards I was always on the fairer side of the scale. Not anymore sigh! :( Two weeks of swimming and my arms and legs have this brown tan. I don't really mind too much, a tanned skin is hot ;) but once in a while, I look at my legs and think - I'm not fair anymore. Blame it on the Indian mentality of thinking fair is beautiful. Somehow this mentality still persists even though dark skinned people make it on celebrity lists of beautiful people and Naomi Campbell and Tyra Banks are some of the most beautiful looking women on the catwalk. But not in India. Or else why would fairness soaps still sell? I cannot believe people actually buy such soaps in order to become fairer than they really are. Do they really think they can cheat God and the color he gave them?

Why can't we be comfortable with the way we look, with the way we are? Aspiring to betterness is not a bad idea. But when it compromises our individuality, our personality, even our origins, I say- Hey, watch out!

Change is inevitable

2007-04-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

It's almost 2 weeks since the in-laws have landed in the US of A and things are better now, as far as my adjustment to the "change in living situation and circumstances" is concerned. I do miss my space occasionally but I guess my volunteer work helps me relax when I feel that way. It's amazing how just a change of scene / place can do wonders to soothe you. I spent Friday afternoon volunteering as a cat socializer and it was nice not to think about anything and just relax with a kitty on my lap. You can't really think about anything else with a cat coz naturally, it expects you to only think about what it's doing. :)

However, let me not take credit away from my in-laws. They are equally responsible for me feeling more settled now. My mom-in-law especially is an affectionate person and never lets me feel overburdened with work, especially in the kitchen. So I still get to do all the activities with The Better Half, like tennis or swimming.

It's funny how time just flies by once your life seems to follow a certain schedule, when you know pretty much what you will be doing on which day of the week. I was surprised when I looked at the calendar and saw that it's been 2 weeks already. At this rate, I guess 6 months will not feel like that long at all, when they will return to India, and I'll probably miss them after getting used to them being around.

Change is such a constant. Just when you begin to like/ accept the way your life is turning out, change happens and you've gotta start liking/ accepting it all over again.

A Birthday affair

2007-04-26T10:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was The Better Half's birthday, which meant that I spent almost all of my time in the kitchen. I never buy him any presents coz in some way, it makes less sense to buy him something from his own money. So store bought presents will not be an option for me until I earn my own money. What I prefer doing instead is cooking him all his favourite dishes, coz that truly is a labour of my love. So I made some yummy Paneer Butter Masala and Malai Palak (thanks to recipes borrowed from fellow bloggers) and mom-in-law contributed too with some quite delicious Cholay. Since lunch was a totally veggie affair, I had decided to make Butter Chicken for dinner. However there was so much food left over from lunch that I simply fried some Pomfret and ended with custard and fruit salad for dessert. I also made french vanilla cake with some really delicious butter cream frosting. This was my first attempt at making a cake with frosting and decorations, so I was quite excited. It turned out quite decent but not so fluffy since I used bananas instead of eggs to make it an eggless recipe. Pretty yummy, nevertheless. And for those of you who insist that a birthday isn't special without a present, this is what I gave The Better Half.

A hand painted candle :)

Life recommends a large dose of patience

2007-04-22T20:11:00.000-07:00

This week has been a learning experience for me, and at times, a little difficult. The in-laws are here, and things are certainly different around here now. I was glad to see them coz I do like them and they are nice people. But living with them is not something I am used to, which makes things difficult after having spent more than a year alone with The Better Half.

The first couple of days were particularly difficult, with me just overwhelmed by all sorts of different feelings. The most dominant of these was the feeling that my personal space was invaded, that I could no longer do as I wished when I wanted to. The second feeling which almost always accompanied the first within a few minutes was that of guilt for feeling that way. This crazy fusion of emotions made me shed a few tears particularly coz I felt The Better Half was singularly unaware of how I felt. I also missed having his whole attention all the time. Once you get used to that sort of thing, it's just difficult not to want that much and more.

One thing I do need to mention here though, my in-laws are not the types from hell. I don't feel about them like I do about my parents, which I guess is reasonably understandable, but I don't despise them or dislike them either. We have a fairly easygoing relationship which has been based all this time on phone calls or internet chats. As I said, the problem is with staying with them. They have their schedules to follow, like having breakfast at a particular time so that they can take their medicines on time, or wanting to do this thing or that. After having lived the way I want, it's a little difficult for me to suddenly change my routine. But I would give them credit for making adjustments in their life too. It can't be that easy on them either, not staying in their house and having everything done their way or not being totally independent. They also do lend a helping hand whenever they can.

I'm getting a little more used to them being around now and it's not that bad as it was at first. I also let The Better Half know how I was feeling and he's been giving me a lot of attention, as if to prove to me that he's not forgotten me now that his mother's here. I know the wrinkles are not all going to be smoothed out and there will be times when I'm dissatisfied with even tiny things if they are not done my way. But I will try and be more patient and understanding. Patience and kindness, I sure hope I can come up with lots of that.

Song of the moment - Dido's White Flag

2007-04-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

I loveeeeeeeeeeee this..my favourite Dido song. It always makes me feel so romantically teary-eyed and nostalgic. Also, it features David Boreanaz whom I've had a crush on ever since he first appeared on "Buffy-the Vampire Slayer". I used to watch that show and the spin-off "Angel" even after I thought it had become inane just to catch a glimpse of him.

Book Read - PS, I Love You

2007-04-17T10:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm not going to document every book I read. It's far too tedious to do that, and sometimes, the books are not going to feel worth sharing with others. I will share them only if I think they make for good / exceptional reading, or if they are associated with something else, e.g.- if they are being made into movies.

This particular book by Cecilia Ahern falls into the second category. When I Googled it out, I found that the movie is in it's post-production phase, soon to be released. So what's the book about? Well, it starts with a young widow, Holly (played by Hilary Swank in the movie), trying to cope with the loss of her husband, Gerry, who has passed away due to a brain tumour. Her husband, though, leaves behind a wonderful legacy for her in the form of 10 notes, one for each subsequent month, signed off with PS- I Love You, which is where the title comes from. The book is about how Holly goes about living her new life, determined to make it for her husband, supported by her friends and family. The book has its moments like when Holly celebrates her 30th birthday totally drunk and unable to remember what she did until she watches it documented on film. But other than that, it wasn't very impressive nor did it make me go all teary eyed. The ending wasn't very satisfactory either. I'm all for romantic endings but the barely sketched romance in the book ended up nowhere which ended up disappointing me. I'm wondering if the movie will turn out to be better than the book, which would in itself be an achievement.

8 joys of summer

2007-04-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

In response to a tag by Diya, here goes:

1. Finally being able to wear my sphagetti tops. Woo!!
2. Drinking cold lemonade on a hot afternoon or after a tiring walk
3. Mangoes..especially the Alphonso variety from India, which I so miss :(
4. Going to the beach :)
5. When I was in school, I loved summer coz it meant holidays and trips
6. Taking a pleasant stroll in the evening with The Better Half without complaining about the chilly weather
7. Outdoor activities like tennis and swimming
8. Going for a drive with the sunroof open and the wind blowing through my hair :)

Anyone who wants to pick up the tag, please do. Hope all you people are enjoying the beautiful summer like I am :)

Togetherness is like this

2007-04-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

Entwined, her on top of him,
they lay together, just resting
Her head on his chest
his heart beat making her feel safe
his breath on her face
warming her insides
his arms around her
making her feel wanted, protecting her
She wanted to move
lest he feel uncomfortable
Hush, he said,
don't move, my darling
You and me, together this way,
We fit just fine, don't you see
She didn't protest anymore
just smiled at him
knowing he felt it too
The warmth, the happiness,
the joy in the soul
the comfort of familiarity
and so they rested that way
entwined in the sleep of love

Book Read - The Lost Continent

2007-04-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

This book is a narrative of Bill Bryson's drive through 38 states of America. If I were to be quite honest, I would say that it is not a book I thought twice about putting down before taking a break for lunch, dinner or whatever, unlike some of the other books I've read. After all, it isn't a book with a story line but a description of the author's travels. However it is great for a leisurely read, with some really good chuckles along the way.

Recommended for those who love the Dave Barry sense of humour. I leave you with some random quotes:

"When I was growing up, I used to wonder how Nebraska came to be lived in.....Do you know what the original settlers made their houses of? Dried mud. And do you know what happened to all those mud houses when the rainy season came every year? That's correct, they slid straight into the Platte River. For a long time I couldn't decide whether the original settlers in Nebraska were insane or just stupid, and then I saw a stadium full of University of Nebraska football fans in action on a Saturday and realized that they must have been both."

"...Iowans are friendly. You go into a strange diner in the South and everything goes quiet, and you realize all the other customers are looking at you as if they are sizing up the risk involved in murdering you for your wallet and leaving your body in a shallow grave somewhere out in the swamps. In Iowa you are the center of attention, the most interesting thing to hit town since a tornado carried off old Frank Sprinkel and his tractor last May. Everybody you meet acts like he would gladly give you his last beer and let you sleep with his sister. Everyone is happy and friendly and strangely serene."

"Missouri looked precisely the same as Illinois, which had looked precisely the same as Iowa. The only difference was that the car license plates were a different color."

"In my day, the principal concerns of university students were sex, smoking dope, rioting and learning. Learning was something you did only when the first three weren't available, but at least you did it. Nowadays, American students' principal concerns seem to be sex and keeping their clothes looking nice. I don't think learning comes into it very much."

"The problem with my dad was that he was a great talker...He would go into a cafe to ask the way to Giant Fungus State Park and the next thing you knew he would be settling down having a cup of coffee and a chat with the proprietor or the proprietor would be taking him out back to show him his new septic tank or something. In the meantime the rest of us would have to sit in a quietly baking car, with nothing to do but sweat and wait and listlessly watch a pair of flies copulate on the dashboard. After a very long time my father would reappear, wiping crumbs from around his mouth and looking real perky...And then before anybody could stop him, he'd be gone again. By the time he finally returned my father would know most of the people in town and the flies on the dashboard would have a litter of infants"

"...And the toilet seat didn't have a SANITIZED FOR YOUR PROTECTION wrapper on it, denying me my daily ritual of cutting it with my scissors and saying, "I now declare this toilet open." These things become important to you when you have been alone on the road for a while."

Dinners, visits and memories

2007-04-09T08:36:00.000-07:00

The past week was a hectic one, with us inviting people over for dinner. I am a fairly decent cook but our daily meal is a fairly simple one, with not more than one curry and one veggie along with chappatis. But when I invite people over, I have to, absolutely have to, make atleast 3 different types of curries/veggies with rice or chappatis. This trait I inherited from my mother, who makes atleast 7-8 different dishes for guests. I would be deeply ashamed if I didn't even try for half of that. So I spent two evenings in this pursuit, which turned out to be worth the effort with the dishes tasting really yummy.

I also had a friend from India visiting. A has been close friends with me since my MBA days, and we were part of the same group, consisting of A, P (now his wife), me and another friend. A was in the US last week to attend a training session, which was luckily in CA, just 20 miles from our apartment. That itself, I told him, had to be a really lucky coincidence. After all, the US is a HUGE country, probably 5x times or more the size of India. So what are the chances of someone visiting actually being within 20 miles? I arranged my volunteer work schedule so that I could do my promised hours earlier that week and we picked up A after his training got over. I was already feeling quite tired by then with no rest in between the week. I know lots of people love cooking, but standing in the kitchen for over 3 hours straight tires the hell out of me. (This also probably explains the weird video I uploaded in my last post- see how stressed and tired I was? :D). But of course I was determined to show A a good time on his first visit to the US.

We had a really amazing evening on Thursday when we got A home. As I mentioned in my some earlier posts on how life has changed after marriage, we rarely party anymore. But we made up for that on Thursday. I grilled some tandoori chicken and we celebrated with a bottle of Scotch whiskey. Since The Better Half had to leave for work the next day, a Friday, he retired to bed at 2 am. A and I kept the conversation flowing till 4.45 am till we realized it was far too late. That was a great evening, where we discussed everything, including life, the existence of GOD, together with catching up on the latest news about old friends. I got to know from A about a few friends whose marriages are on the rocks and as it always does, this sort of news saddened and scared me equally. Marriage - this institution takes a lot more effort than people realize at the start. Sometimes it's love which brings people together and sometimes it's love which tears them apart. How ironic!

On Friday, I took A on a tour of the city and showed him the beautiful library here. He was just as amazed and impressed as I had been when I saw it first. The weekend was hectic again as we decided to take a tour of The Mystery Spot. It was a truly amazing experience and has to be experienced to be believed. Any picture taken here could easily be perceived as a hoax. To elaborate, the Mystery Spot is a gravitational anomaly located in the redwood forests just outside of Santa Cruz, California. It is a circular area of effect around 150 feet or 46 meters in diameter. As you take the guided tour, you will realize that the point of gravity has actually shifted with your body leaning at a tilted angle as you walk or stand, so much so that walking uphill causes a strain on your back as you are practically walking on the tip of your heel. Wow! The visual illusion we experienced is practically unbelievable. Our guide showed us a plank of wood placed like a see-saw with one end up and the other down. He asked us which end is up and obviously we thought that was easy to answer. He proved us wrong when he took a billiard ball and rolled it on the plank. Now if what we thought was true, the ball should have rolled downwards towards the lower end. But we actually saw the ball go a little down, then roll all the way back towards us. So the lower end was actually the higher end. Strange and absolutely unbelievable!

After that amazing experience, we then went to the Beach Boardwalk, which is a seaside amusement park, on the Santa Cruz beach. The Better Half and A both refused to sit on the rides, so I had to brave it alone. I sat on the Hurricane, aptly named since it didn't last for more than 30 seconds but scared the shit out of me with it's crazy loops and curves. I actually closed my eyes as I felt myself hanging onto the handrail with all my effort!

A left on Sunday and I felt a little sad the whole day. I've always felt this sort of loneliness when I'm having tons of fun and then eventually, my guests have to leave at the end of the day. I hope I get to meet him again, this time with P. I miss those girl-talk times I used to have with her :( . I still remember how P and I went off for a round of beer in the afternoon at a nearby favourite pub in between our MBA lectures. Nobody believed that we girls did that on our own until they actually sniffed us. LOL :D ! Those were the days...

Now it's back to the regular routine. I don't see us entertaining guests for a couple of weeks atleast. We will be doing some entertaining after The Better Half's parents land here though. Another 9 days and they will be here. Guess who's grinning thinking of Mommy??

Just for a laugh

2007-04-05T08:40:00.000-07:00

Touch-me-not

2007-04-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

I happened to chance upon this site and read some of the stories there. Stories which could be any woman's stories. You (if you're a woman), your sister, your mother, your colleague, just about any woman you know. Stories which brought back painful memories for me.

Like the uncle in my building who hugged me always. I didn't realise it at first, but when puberty kicked in and I had this sort of odd, "just wrong" feeling, I knew he shouldn't be hugging me. He even hugged me in front of my parents as if it was nothing odd. But the tightness of the hug, the feeling of the touch... a woman always knows when it is wrong. After all, a girl is a women even then, isn't she? I didn't say anything to my parents then, but just tried and avoided him. I think he realised I was onto him coz he didn't try that much anymore after that. When he died, I didn't feel a single bit of remorse for him. Maybe I was a little glad infact. After all, I lost some part of my innocence with that. I could have been a little girl, unware of the big bad world that much longer.

Another memory. My neighbour's 20- something son in my house. I was 14 or maybe 15 and alone. He wanted to use the phone. Nothing weird in that. A lot of people came to our house in those days since we were among the first in our building to have a phone. But it was weird when he was talking to me. When he traced the lettering on my T-shirt , on my left breast. Delhi Asian Games 1982. I still remember what it said. I didn't say anything at that time either. My neighbour was, in fact, is like a part of our family and I couldn't believe his son had touched me. I won't cry for that son either.

I never told my parents anything. Maybe I thought they wouldn't believe me. I wish I had. My parents might be very conservative, and might not agree with me on a lot of things, but I know when it comes to their daughter, they would fight against the world to protect me. Especially my mother. After all, she's a woman too. I remember an incident in a bus where my mother and I occupied a seat. The guy on the seat behind me kept his hand on my seat when I sat down. I could feel it but every time I looked behind, he had cleverly managed to remove it. When I finally saw it, I instinctively slapped his hand. My mother then removed a safety pin and told me to never hesitate to use one if I needed to. It was then that I knew I never needed to be afraid to tell my mother. She would always be my mother first. After some continuous glares the man got from her, he immediately got down at the next stop. One thing I will never fail to understand is, why did the man sitting next to him never say a word? Did he not think what if this happened to his sister or his wife? How cowardly can men be?

Of course, these are not the only memories. A crowded bus, a train, a bridge, a road, and more... incidents happen at all these places. They have happened not only to me but, I'm sure, to each and every woman I know.

Stealing a part of our joy, our innocence, our faith, each time.

Touch-me-not. I am not that scared child anymore. I will scream and I will protest. I will not keep quiet.

To all the women I know and I don't, please don't keep quiet. Next time it could be your child he does it to. To all the men I know and I don't, stand up for our dignity. Help us be proud to be women and not afraid. Help us when you see someone assaulting our fragile feminity, even if you don't know us. Don't just walk by. If you do, it could be your mother, your wife, your sister, your daughter next.

Or a day will come when we trust no man. For one day it could turn into more than just a pinch, a touch, a rub. It could turn our life into a living nightmare.

Book Read - My Sister's Keeper

2007-03-29T18:43:00.000-07:00

What happens when a couple decides to conceive a "designer" baby, a perfect genetic donor match for their 2 yr old daughter just diagnosed with leukaemia? What happens when the donor sister, now 13, files a lawsuit against her parents so that she no longer has to donate any part of herself to her sister? Does the medical emancipation of one sister mean the death of another?

This book by Jodi Picoult explores all these questions. And brings us to an ending which could not have possibly been foreseen. Do we really understand why people make the decisions they do? Isn't it wrong to analyse motives unless we are privy to the facts, the way the decision maker sees it? These were some of the interesting questions the book threw up at me. And I absolutely bawled like a child at the ending.

I recommend it.

Closer to 30

2007-03-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

I turned 29 last Tuesday. This was probably the most low key birthday I've ever had, with both The Better Half and I busy with our schedules. Less than two months old at his new work place, it didn't seem appropriate for him to take a leave, and I was busy till 7 pm at the place I volunteer. But of course we went out to celebrate at dinner. Since I got to choose the place I wanted to go to, I chose the Outback Steakhouse. I had always read about how steakhouses are the All-American experience and I wanted to experience it for myself. The Better Half had never been to one either. I ordered the Victoria's Center-cut Filet, which I thought was ok, and The Better Half had the Outback Special Prime Rib, which was quite good. We skipped the Blooming Onion, their signature dish, coz it seemed to be too greasy. Not to say what we ordered wasn't! The salad served with steak was simply yummy, with honey mustard dressing. Umm..I can still remember eating it the next morning after we boxed some of the food, and it tasted even better.

Life after marriage is so different from before. Birthdays were always spent at a pub with friends, drinking the night away. Well, not really, since I had to be home by 10 pm, at the latest. As soon as it was 9.30, my cell phone would ring, with my mother asking me where I was and what time I intended to come home. Oh, those stories have enough fodder for a whole new post. Anyway, after I got home, I would eat something my mother had specially made for my birthday, some of my favourite dishes, and at the end, there were always pastries waiting, bought by my dad.

Earlier, The Better Half and I used to spend each weekend in a pub by ourselves or with friends. Now, we rarely drink more than once in a couple of months, and not more than a couple of beers. Life changes so much! Not that I regret or miss anything though. I believe that there are different phases to life and it is necessary to adapt and enjoy each one as it comes. While I enjoyed that part, I enjoy this one too, spending time with the person I probably love most in this world, just relaxing at home.

Since we didn't have too much time that day, my birthday gift, which was a shopping trip, happened on the weekend. While I love getting new clothes like all women, I hate the part where I walk into a shop and simply do not like a single thing there. Or when I finally do like something, it doesn't look good on me at all or they don't have it in my size. Or the endless wait outside the trial room where it makes sense to take atleast 5 things to try out, simply coz I'm too frustrated to go through the waiting again.

I did buy jeans and a couple of T-shirts, but oddly did not feel the satisfaction I usually do at the end of a shopping trip. Maybe I was just tired or maybe I just wanted to try on something pretty without the hassles of size fits and waiting in line to see how it looked. The evening ended on an unexpected note of delight, when The Better Half suggested we have dinner at a restaurant called The Red Lobster. Since I absolutely am crazy about sea food and have been dying to go there, I was ecstatic. Though the service didn't seem to be that great, with us getting each dish we ordered separately, after atleast a 10 min wait in between each of them, I readily forgave everything when I tasted the food. To say that I felt like I was in culinary heaven is an understatement. Right from the complimentary bread served with the soup to the lobster tail and the jumbo shrimp, everything was sheer magic.

Now I definitely know where I want to go for my next birthday. A special treat for a special day. After all, you shouldn't waste such culinary delights on an ordinary day, should you? :)

One of Life's little lessons

2007-03-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

Two of the toughest things about marriage are having to grow up and learning that you are not as lovable or perfect as you thought you were.

Depressing

2007-03-23T13:44:00.000-07:00

That is how I would describe India's performance in the World Cup. 161 runs for 9 wickets, (with a target of 250+ to score) as I am writing this, sighing the final gasps of defeat. Never thought I'd actually see India go out in the first round itself. What a disgraceful performance!

Blood Diamond

2007-03-22T08:47:00.000-07:00

Got a DVD of this movie from Blockbuster and watched it yesterday. It turned out to be far more than what I had expected from the trailer. Intense and gripping, it is the story of an unlikely, and at times, uneasy, comradery between 3 people- the mercenary diamond smuggler (played by Leonardo Di Caprio), the truth seeking journalist who wants her real story (Jeniffer Connelly) and the anguished father looking for his son (Djimon Hounsou). At the centre of all the drama is a large pink diamond, aptly called the blood diamond, for all the blood that is shed for it. Leonardo is amazing in the movie, ruthless and yet displaying a final gesture of unselfishness. I just saw "The Departed" a few days ago and he continues to keep up the good work. One particular dialogue I remember (as accurately as I can ) from the movie is when Leonardo tells Jennifer : "What would God say if he saw what we were doing to each other? And then I look around and see. Hell, God left this place a long time ago." The movie is horrifyingly realistic, with scenes where children are taught to use machine guns and kill their own people. I could not help but pray for such children robbed of their innocence, seeing the scenes.

For those who haven't seen the movie or don't know about it, blood diamond is a term used to refer to a diamond coming from a conflict ridden country. Millions of dollars worth of diamonds come from Africa where rebels fight the government and both sides use the sale of diamonds to fund their efforts. Of course, all this happens at the cost of the people living there who are made to work like slaves sifting through mud for those tiny glittering pieces.

I highly recommend the movie as a must-see. It's a true story and enlightening as to where some of the tiny stones we women wear come from. If you've seen it, tell me what you thought of it.

True

2007-03-18T14:28:00.000-07:00

"Love is a choice you make from moment to moment. "

Royally thrashed

2007-03-17T13:18:00.000-07:00

As I'm writing this, India is on the verge of losing it's first 2007 World Cup match..that too by none other than the tiny, still fledgling, Bangladesh team...Ouch! Bangladesh needs 46 runs to win off 90 balls, with 7 wickets in hand...Nothing short of a miracle needed for India to win..Double ouch!

Trying to keep busy

2007-03-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

I played an hour of tennis the day before and I'm glad to say I have improved tons over my dismal performance before. I'm actually learning how to serve properly, and I'm managing to connect with the ball and rally 7/10 times. Not bad at all! Now if only I can manage to uphold or improve this performance during my tennis class in front of the tennis pro, David, then it will be great. There is a class today but am planning to skip it for the yoga session which is at the same time. The Better Half and I love going to these sessions- for one, the instructor is really good with an amazing soothing voice, and two, it feels like a really good workout where you can feel it right down to the joints loosening up.

I also am planning to get a weighing scale. It will be good to know that all the exercises we are doing are helping us to lose some weight and I'm sure, that will be quite motivating.

On other stuff, I have begun to volunteer at a nearby non-profit, which is a health and hospice institution, catering to those who are terminally ill and have less than 6 months to live. While I am not brave enough to be a field volunteer and spend time with such patients- I'm afraid of any attachments that might form -I have opted to help them out with administrative work. I miss the old place I used to go to, but it is a 20 mile drive away now that we have moved and so difficult for me to continue there. I will be going to the new place twice a week, starting yesterday. I am also planning to volunteer a few hours a week at an animal shelter. I've always loved animals and since The Better Half doesn't like pets, this is the only way I can enjoy being with them. The orientation at the shelter is next weekend and hopefully they can fit me in their schedule.

It's so good to feel useful! :)

I'm no Steffi Graf

2007-03-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

As a conclusion to this week of firsts, I attended my first tennis class yesterday. The tennis pro asked me if I had ever played before and when I shook my head for a No, asked me to be creative. Of course that was before he saw me try to play. I would have been creative if I could manage to connect with the ball, but those occasions I could count on the fingers of one hand! It was good fun, though mortifying at times when the rest of the people cheered on when I did connect at times. And this was a beginners class, which of course meant, I was the worst beginner! LOL.

Of course, I'm going to get better with practise and I so do want to play better. I'm quite sure The Better Half is going to be promoted to the Intermediate Players Class way before I do. He's played a little before and he's far more athletic than me. Athletics and I never had a connection except for a little bit in school, when I was part of the hockey team. I was decent but never great in sports, and I accepted that my body was never really going to be called "athletic". BTW, I did win a prize for "Backward Running" in school sports, a fact which still tickles my mom and grandmother. Just mention that and they start giggling! Anyway, I'm glad I went to the class. It's quite different when you learn a game yourself and when you learn it the right way from a pro. So now all I need to do is practise!

For those of you who like the dusky Shyla Lopez, here's what I've been watching this morning . She's gorgeous!

My very first Bus ride

2007-03-09T08:46:00.000-08:00

I'm not talking about the very first in my life, but the very first since I've moved to the US of A. Which is a little surprising, I guess, since I've been here for more than a year now. Incidentally, till last July, I only saw a bus twice near my apartment, when we stayed in Dallas, Texas. Probably it was because we stayed pretty far away from both downtown and the typical residential areas. So our car was our only means of transport. When we moved to California, I noticed that the transportation was pretty much decent with both bus stops and the train station close by. But I still had the car to use since The Better Half travelled by train. Since our move to the new apartment though, he uses the car pre-dominantly, work being only a 10-15 min drive away. Which led me to take my very first bus ride ever.

I used the 511 transit planner to find the buses I could take and the stops I needed to catch the bus at (quite some research). I panicked for some time when I couldn't find my stop on the list of stops in the bus route pamphlet I had. Finally, I figured that they probably don't put all the stops there. I realised then that I needed to take some advice from an experienced traveller. I found one in P. She is a colleague of The Better Half from his previous company (through which he arrived in the US), and we were intially supposed to come to the US together. Even though her itinerary got delayed, we became friends since we were all staying at the same hotel, and later at the same community in Dallas. P is pretty experienced in travelling alone, since she has had the misfortune to have travelled to all parts of the US after being allocated and re-allocated to projects. So it was to her I turned to now in this moment of need.

I knew that there was no conductor in the buses here, unlike good old Bombay, to take my money and tell me when my stop would arrive. P assured me the driver would help me out and also told me the procedure I needed to follow when I got into the bus. I know this post probably sounds pretty silly to most people who travel every day, but hey, it was my very first ride and I didn't want to come across as a retard. Anyway, thanks to her instructions, I did pretty decently. I did have my moment of idiocy when I entered and looked at the machine to deposit my money. I could see the slot for change but was fumbling around to put in my dollar bill. I guess the driver pretty much decided then that he had to look out for me. He looked puzzled when I mentioned the name of some obscure street where I needed to get down, but he promised to get me there. Which he did, and very nicely waited after I got down to point me down the right street. That earned him a dazzling smile and a cheery wave from me. Well, you do have to appreciate nice folks, don't you?

So the first half of the journey was fine and now I knew where I needed to catch the bus to return home. This time, there was another thing I wanted to do- pull the cord to request a stop. The first time, I was sitting at the very front so I could talk to the driver, and in between the conversations, I was surrepitously looking around for the magical cord to pull when my stop arrived. I could only hear the "ting" when someone pulled it and an electronic female voice saying "Stop requested" when that happened. I was a little confused as to how this cord would be like. The confusion was again due to the Bombay buses, which have a cord, or rather, a thick rope down the centre of the aisle ceiling, which the conductor uses to signal stops. I was probably expecting something similar. On my return journey, I kept my eyes peeled and noticed this little tiny cord next to each passenger seat which had a label asking to pull for a stop. Unfortunately, the little girl inside me was disappointed when I pulled it, but there was no "ting" or no voice because someone had already pulled it before me! Well, there's always a next time...and the next time, I'm determined to be the first...lol

Wow... I actually wrote an entire huge post on the adventure of riding in a bus..oh, did I mention I felt very Keanu Reeve Speed -like sitting inside the bus?

Another first in the day was when I played my very first game of table tennis. Of course, in all such learning adventures, The Better Half is my (un)willing(?) partner. I pretty much learned the rules and how to play, all credit to the easy game it is, but I have a long way to go. When I finally left and he had a different partner to play, I swear I heard him say " And now we can play some real table tennis". Humph!

Thank YOU

2007-03-05T15:36:00.000-08:00

YOU who read my earlier post and said a little prayer for me. YOU who wrote down some words of support for me. YOU who have gone through similar experiences in life and have emerged the winner, and want me to take heart from your experience. YOU who love me even in those deepest, darkest moments when I fall prey to self pity and despair.

Thank you, all of YOU.

I would be lying if I said I was absolutely fine. I guess I still feel a little numb there, an ache in the heart. But I guess that is part of the grieving process. The way you feel a little numb when you lose someone you love or are hurt by someone you trust whole heartedly. I wasn't planning to write this post, coz I was afraid I might continue with my trip of self-pity and that is a dangerous thing. Dangerous for the one indulging in it, since it is so easier to give up rather than forge a new way. It is also frustrating for the people who are part of one's support group. How many times can you tell someone "It will be ok" when you know that the sooner they stand up and face the situation, the sooner they will, actually, be OK. But I guess all the amazing support I have been getting is prompting me to write this post. Lending one's shoulder is not an easy task, and I appreciate each and everyone who has been lending their shoulder to me. I assure you though, I'm not the types who will cry for long. The helpless and poor little girl image doesn't really go well with me beyond a limited period of time.

So what have I been doing this past week? Lots of things to make sure there is no dwelling on sadness. I played tennis - though I confess I sucked, being the first time I played- went for yoga classes, had my first swimming lessons, my personal teacher being The Better Half himself. I also met some friends and indulged in some retail therapy. Though these things did not erase completely what I was feeling, I did have fun. And that is a good start for me. I totally intend to continue these activities. I've decided that I need to enjoy life more for the moment. I think we all need to do that, rather than continuously worry about the future.

Dreams and dust

2007-03-01T08:56:00.000-08:00

My little heart trembles
With the burden of its desires
and trembles even more
when it sees them turn to dust
Dust which blows away in the wind
Taunting as if to say
"It was never to be, you fool"
Fool it may be
But still it desires
Looking at the dust in my hands
Waiting for a new hope
To arise phoenix-like from the ashes

I got a reject from a school where I was almost positive I would get in. Which leaves me now with only a waitlist from 2 schools. Yesterday passed in shock, denial, outrage, anger, frustration, tears...and almost defeat. Defeat would be way too easy to accept and even harder to live with. I never had a backup plan like most people who apply. I never thought "Oh, if this doesn't happen, I will do X,Y or Z". My desire to do this was and is so intense that other plans have no appeal. Yet I must face the fact that life can be unfair at times, maybe most of the times. I have started thinking of "if not this, then what?". I don't know the answer to that as of now, but probably I will try to do something totally different, something new and exciting, something I never thought I'd do. Dreams...we can only wish them.

Teehee

2007-02-27T10:12:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited..my new Razr V3r just came in yesterday :). The Better Half opted for this one, a Razr V3i. Finally my own cell with a family plan. Till now, we survived with one cell phone. It didn't make sense for us to take a home phone line, since we were moving so much , every 6 months. And since we had moved to the US only a year and a half before (The Better Half moved only 6 months before I joined him), we had no credit history at the start. Which made it virtually impossible for us to get a family plan with 2 cell phones. Infact, we had to buy the one cell we had too. Seeing how credit history plays such an important role here, we started working on building it slowly and steadily. I have always wanted the Razr, so as soon as our contract was up last month, we decided to switch to Cingular with new phones too. They might not be the latest cell phones, but as long as I got them for no cost other than the shipping fee and activation charge, that's just fine with me.

The Vagina Monologues

2007-02-25T12:44:00.000-08:00

Went to see this play Friday night with The Better Half in tow. I didn't know what to expect, other than the obvious conclusion that it was a play about women and for women. I had heard that women often burst out crying while watching it and half expected it to be a serious sort of perspective on womens sexuality. Surprisingly, it turned out to be much more. The opening acts were hilarious, and I'm sure some of the men present were quite enlightened by the end of the play, particularly by the act in which the women talked about their first periods and the sequence of events before and after their first big discovery as "maturing women". One young man in the row ahead kept nodding his head sympathetically and muttering "True" at intervals. The Better Half enjoyed some moments of it, but couldn't understand most of it. "I couldn't really relate to it. After all, I've never been through that", he said. Which was fine by me. I'm proud of the fact that he voted to come with me, inspite of very correctly anticipating that men would be in the minority that day. However, the 10-15 men in the audience did not lack behind the rest of us women (in a sold out audience of around 150 seats) when we were asked to shout out the word "CUNT". This exercise was purely to reclaim the word which has often been used in derogatory language and make it purer and something to be proud of, just a different name for the vagina, an integral part of being a woman. Some parts of the play were sad and went straight to the heart because of the reality involved- in particular the act about the woman from Bosnia who couldn't bear to look at herself after being raped for seven days by soldiers, and the one about the woman beaten up by her husband.

All in all, an interesting experience, discovering things about us, about other women that is rarely discussed. An experience about women empowerment - definitely recommended.

Books and activities galore!

2007-02-22T16:36:00.000-08:00

Finally went to the library and joined. Yay! Got more than I could carry with my arms around them and a couple of DVD's too, Crocodile Dundee being one of them. I remember hearing about this movie when I was in school and I guess that's what prompted me to pick it up. Probably the unusual name is what made me remember it after all these years.

I'm beginning to like the city we have moved to, with lots of greenery lining the roads. Of course our old apartment had the most fabulous view, with a view of the mountains and geese flying over us and waking us with their cackle. Hmm...that's the second consecutive post I used the word "cackle" in. Well, to continue, in short, that was a beautiful place and we figured it would be hard for anything to beat it. This place is beginning to grow on us though. There are tons of classes and events going on here, absolutely free for all the residents. So yesterday we decided to take advantage of the facilities and attended a yoga class. It was much more of a workout than I thought it would be, with a full one hour session. There were also tennis lessons, but since we still have to buy our raquets, we gave that a miss. I'm raring to go play it though and learn swimming too. The pool is hugeeee and heated and looks absolutely inviting. God knows my figure could use some weight loss program.

Today is Pilates class!

Settling in

2007-02-21T08:57:00.000-08:00

Moved on Friday and took advantage of the long weekend here to unpack everything. Finally got the internet connection yesterday and here I am, back to my blog.

I love the new apartment. It's quite spacious and has lots of light falling in. The best thing is that I don't have to get up early and pack lunch for The Better Half since he's just a 10 min drive away from work. Even better, he comes home to a hot lunch. It's good for me too, since I haven't yet found some thing to occupy my time. I'm looking to volunteer again near where we stay , but I guess it might take a week or so until I start. I also need to go and get membership at the local library, and then I will have lots of books to read in my spare time.

The moving was tiring, though I did little work myself in terms of the physical effort. A couple of friends came over and together between all them, they managed to move all the heavy furniture. On Saturday we went back for a last check of the apartment and a final scrub and clean up before turning in the keys. Saturday was definitely the day of forget-me-nots. It started with us reaching the elevator and realizing that it would be cold and we would need our jackets. The next incident occured when we had driven some 2 miles and The Better Half realized that he had forgotten his check book, which we would need when turning in the keys. We had to turn back to get it and of course, he endured a little bit of nagging about how he is supposed to remember things. In retrospect, that was not a smart thing I did, seeing how I was responsible for the next incident.

After scrubbing the entire apartment and getting out all the things we needed ( a couple of boxes and a clothes hamper full of the weekly washing), we deposited everything at the bottom of the building stairs. The Better Half said that he would get the car and park it at the closest space next to the building and asked me to get all the stuff there. So I did, except for the hamper which I left below the building coz it was heavy for me to lift. We loaded all the stuff in the car and then left to get some things we needed from the local Walmart. After shopping for 2 hours, we left to get back to our new apartment 20 miles away when The Better Half suddenly realized that there was still a lot of space in the car even after all the shopping we did. But not until he asked me "Where are the clothes?", did I remember that ohmigosh, I had left them right there, at the bottom of the stairs! The 15 min drive back was pure agony, with me wondering whether all my lingerie and clothes would still be there when we got back or would there be nothing, with some malicious neighbour peering at us from behind the curtains, cackling away- "Serves her right to leave stuff lying around". Ya, I know that was weird but that was a tense situation then. To top it all, The Better Half was smirking away saying "Apne gireban mein jhank ke dekhna chahiye doosron ko bolne se pehle" roughly translated as " Someone should know better than to nag other people about mistakes". Thank God, the clothes were still lying there or I would have had to hear that comment for a very long long time.

Hmm..I guess moving turns out to be a nerve-wracking experience in more ways than one.

Busy, busy , busy...

2007-02-16T07:46:00.000-08:00

...in packing up our stuff. Nearly done for the move tomorrow. Gosh, and then I will have to unpack at the new place. Another round of looking for the perfect place to put things. Like why the spoons should be in this drawer and not that. So many decisions to take!

Cupid's day

2007-02-14T07:56:00.000-08:00

That day of the year when you're guaranteed to see lots of pink heart balloons floating around and red roses everywhere. Valentine's Day has never been big on my list of important days, probably because I've always felt it to be so commercial. I've also always felt that why express your love on one particular day when you can do it all the year round? But hey, I know a lot of love stories must have started on this day, so I guess it is an important day for a lot of people.

Here's what I made for The Better Half.

It says:

YOU'RE MY LOVE BUG!!!

"With you, I'm more than just me

With you, I'm everything I wish to be

My life, my heart, my breath, my soul

All these you are and more"

Well, i guess the world could use a lot of love right now. Happy Valentine's Day , everyone! Spread the love :)

I've been tagged...

2007-02-12T07:38:00.000-08:00

...by John. So here's my list of three's:

Three things that scare me:
1. Losing the people I love
2. The feeling that my life will end up being ordinary without me achieving anything important
3. Not being in control of my life at times

Three people who make me laugh:
1. Some of my close friends
2. Raymond from the sitcom "Everybody loves Raymond"
3. The Better Half

Three things I love:
1. Road side chaat and vada pav in Bombay with cutting chai
2. Animals, excluding the slimy and yucky ones like roaches and lizards
3. Having a good chat with girlfriends or a girls night over

Three things I hate:
1. Rudeness
2. Manipulative people
3. Office politics

Three things I don't understand:
1. Compulsive liars
2. Life, at times
3. Why people are mean to each other without a reason

Three things on my desk:
1. My laptop
2. Some coasters
3. The newspaper or the book I'm reading

Three things i'm doing right now:
1. Chatting with a long lost acquaintance
2. Having my breakfast
3. Thinking of packing for the big move on the weekend

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. Swim with dolphins
2. Visit Paris and Venice (I think they're both such romantic cities)
3. Attend a concert (Bon Jovi, Shakira or Bryan Adams preferably). It's absolutely deplorable that I've never attended one.

Three things I can do:
1. Write in a nice handwriting
2. Be a good friend
3. Implicitly believe in the inner goodness of people unless proven otherwise

Three things you should listen to:
1. Your parents when they say "Whatever you do right now is going to come back to you when you grow up/have kids". Didn't believe it then, beginning to believe it now!
2. Your heart, sometimes over your brain
3. Stories of failure as well as success. You learn from both.

Three things you should never listen to:
1. People who want you to do things a certain way just because it's their way
2. People who tell you that you're no good or not as good as them
3. Anything that goes against your inner conscience

Three things i'd like to learn:
1. Tango dancing, Salsa and the waltz
2. Swimming
3. The art of saying the right thing at the right time, all the time

Three fav. foods:
1. Chinese Kung Pao chicken
2. Everything Thai
3. Fried Pomfret fish

Three beverages I drink regularly:
1. Tea
2. Juice
3. Milk

Three TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid:
1. Spiderman & He-Man (Tv-show as well as the comic)
2. Nancy Drew & Hardy Boys & whatever else I could get my hands on
3. Johnny soko & his flying robot

Three people I tag:
1. Arz000n
2. Asha
3. Sometimes Saintly Nick

You know it's a good day when...

2007-02-08T08:01:00.000-08:00

...you wake up to around 20 odd kisses softly placed continuously on your face while you're still sleeping, enclosed in a warm hug by the person who makes your world go round..awww..I'm still blushing :)

The Chronicles of Narnia

2007-02-07T12:09:00.000-08:00

Naw, this is not a review of the movie. I know I have a habit of watching movies and commenting on them after perhaps everyone else in the whole wide world has probably seen them twice at the least. Nope, not this time. I saw "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" pretty early for my standards, only a month after it released. I loved the movie of course. I usually love movies which have a certain fantasy element in them, like The Lord of the Rings and the Harry Potter series. And if I like the movie, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna love the book because the book usually has so much more detail which needs to be edited in the movie. Which means I managed to find an e-book version of The Lord of the Rings and read all the three parts. I also just finished reading the first part of The Chronicles of Narnia, which is also the first movie released on the series. I loved reading it; it felt as if I could imagine all the characters saying all their lines. The dialogues didn't seem to have been altered except for a slight change in the movie's plot, which showed the war. But of course the writer and the director must have added their own thoughts to make the movie more visually appealing.

Wikipedia has an interesting topic on how the parts of the series are arranged. Apparently after all the books were published (7 in all), there was some rearrangement done. So The Lion.... is not the first part at all, even though it was the first book published. I guess the order really doesn't matter too much because C.S. Lewis apparently had not planned to make it a series at all. Well, I've already requested the next two books in the series - Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader from my library. Can't wait to get my hands on them and start reading!

Everyone needs to be loved

2007-02-03T11:40:00.000-08:00

I got a call yesterday from my friend, P, who stays in India. She and I were colleagues in a company I used to work in before. That job probably gave me some of the best experiences in my career and some really good friends, one of whom is P. She and I have been in touch even after I moved to a new job and even after I moved to the US. I think she is one of the few people I have called most often after coming here. She is the most generous, warm hearted person I have ever met. Every time I get a call from her, I feel someone is thinking and praying for me. It feels so amazing when someone calls me up and says,"It's been such a long time that I simply had to call you". It's expecially surprising when it comes not from the people you thought were your best friends and have spent years with, but from someone you have known only for a couple of years. Somone who calls you because she likes you and wants to talk to you, because it doesn't matter to her that her calling me is more expensive than the other way around . That's P. And it feels especially good when you remember one of your closest and well-employed friends telling you, " I'm sorry I can't call you because it's so expensive." I guess sometimes explanations hurt the most. If they'd just let it be, I would probably blame it on the busy schedules etc. But it's so much worse when they feel the need to explain and make me think about things.

Ah well. Coming back to P, she called as soon as she read my email which I had written in the state of mind I was in 2 days back. It was so wonderful to get that all-out support I needed. It was even more wonderful because she gave me some great news too. She told me she was finally ready to get married. I have been trying for a couple of years now to get her to think positively about the whole arranged marriage scenario, without any success.

P comes from a lower middle class family, the eldest of 2 daughters and a son. Having lost her father years back has probably played a huge part in making her the way she is. Timid, unambitious, content to live life in the passenger seat- those are the words I'd use to describe her. Generous, very sensitive about other people's needs and big hearted are the other words. She did go through the whole rigamarole of meeting a man through an arranged proposal some years back. For some reason, she was not too keen on it and refused to go ahead with it. She later told me that she did not know why she refused, since the family seemed decent. But just something did not feel right to her. Unfortunately, the proposal had come through her cousin who knew both the families well , and she was under intense pressure to reconsider. For what must have been one of the few times in her life, she absolutely refused to change her mind. This resulted in her whole family, including her mother and siblings showing their disapproval, even refusing to talk to her for a period of time. I can only imagine the trauma this must have caused her.

After this incident, she refused to even consider marriage. The few times I'd talk to her about it, she said that arranged marriages scared her and that not everyone is lucky to find someone they really like. In the past one year or so, she had given up on the idea of marriage itself and had told me that marriage wasn't for her. It was very disheartening to hear her saying that, knowing that a single life can be very lonely, especially as you get older and all your friends are married. More so because she is a lovely girl and she was sure to make whoever married her very happy indeed. I don't know what happened to make her suddenly change her mind and feel more positive. But it sure felt good when she told me, " You know, I think it's the right time. I'm ready for it." There was confidence in her voice as she said that and I knew she was indeed ready for the biggest decision in her life.

I'm praying for you too, P, just like you do for me. I hope you find all the happiness you've always wanted and deserved. After all, everyone needs to be loved.

I can see the sun...

2007-02-02T09:31:00.000-08:00

...peering out from behind the clouds. I am in much better shape today, thanks to all the support I have been getting from people who know the crazy emotional state I'm in. The Better Half was truly a saviour yesterday, giving me all the hugs I needed and telling me all the right things. "Don't worry about the other schools" he says, " you got admitted to my school long back." He is such a darling. I wonder what good deeds I did to deserve him. I did feel bad though - it was his big day. His first day at the new job, and I was making it all about me. The wonderful man that he is, he just shrugged the thought away when I shamefully admitted that I was sorry for being selfish and talking about my problems. My mom was just as supportive when she came online and chatted with me over the internet. Whatever the outcome of my efforts are, I know there are lots of things in my life I should be grateful for. An amazing support group, friends and family who love me no matter what, a healthy body and a healthy mind. I'm a lucky girl indeed!

Long days ahead

2007-02-01T11:13:00.000-08:00

I have been a bit jittery since Monday, when I gave an admissions interview. The interview was fairly decent, but I realised that it means I would know the final outcome within a couple of weeks. I just received an email from a school for which I interviewed 2 weeks back. I am on the waitlist yet again. It feels pretty depressing to know that, especially since I was quite sure that my credentials were good enough to get an admit here. Also, since this was my last school of choice and the schools I would have ideally wanted to get into are higher up in the rankings. I haven't been called to interview by the remaining schools I applied to, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to be dinged by them. I wish The Better Half was with me right now. I think I could use plenty of support right now. It just seems too easy to give up and cry. I know that I will in all probability have miserable days ahead, dissecting my latest interview and thinking of all the things I probably said wrong, thinking that this is my last hope.

A peace with no future ?

2007-01-26T10:12:00.000-08:00

I read an article last week, and ever since I've been unable to get it out of my head. Perhaps because I can relate to it -not in terms of really living the experience, but the ideas and thoughts and the need behind it. I knew then that I had to blog about it.

I'm talking about this. It is said that war is necessary to bring about peace. But what good can peace be, if it means a country where people have lost the basic sense of safety, where they say there is no future? Where there is no access to education because people are afraid even in their own homes? I could not have imagined a future for myself if I had been told that I can no longer study, because the circumstances do not allow it. If I had been told that you can study if you are alive, but here you do not even know what will happen by nightfall.

I flinch when someone asks me why I want to study now, when I already have a Master's, or when they ask me if I'm not too old to go back to school. Isn't education about the desire to do something better, the opportunity to learn what you've missed so far and go back and use it? We are blessed to be born and living in countries like India and the US, where opportunities are aplenty. Opportunities to learn and dream about a better future- for us, for the community. But what happens when you have dreams and desires but no opportunities? When you see your dreams fading away because your opportunities are a thing of the past? Surely that is not the price to pay for peace.

Sing along with me

2007-01-24T08:09:00.000-08:00

I watched "The Sound of Music" a couple of weeks back and found that I liked it just as much as I had when I first watched it around 10 years ago. Lively Maria, played by Julie Andrews, a soon to be nun who loves to sing more than anything else, falls in love with 7 children and their tough-as-nails-outside but soft hearted father, the Captain. The 1965 movie is a heartwarming story just perfect for a lazy afternoon or evening. It has some lovely songs, my favourites being "These are a few of my favourite things" and " Do-Re-Mi". I find myself humming this particular song quite often, and I guess I liked it the most because of the situation it is sung in. This scene has thunder and lightning in the background, because of which the children are scared and come running to the new nanny, Maria. She sings them this song to tell them what she does when she gets scared. It has a catchy tune, the type people can sing along to, and simple lyrics. It goes like this:

raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens
brown paper packages tied up with strings
these are a few of my favourite things

cream coloured ponies and crisp apple strudels
doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
these are a few of my favorite things

girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
snowflakes that stay on my nose and eye-lashes
silver white winters that melt into springs
these are a few of my favorite things

when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when i'm feeling sad
i simply remember my favourite things and then i don't feel so bad

When I got the DVD to watch, I was afraid I might have to watch it alone. The Better Half has never been too fond of musicals. He usually starts dozing off when they start singing. I particularly remember us going to watch "Chicago" which I thought was a brilliant movie and he looked so bored when it finally ended. Surprisingly, he endeavoured to watch The Sound of Music with me and didn't even fall asleep when they were singing. Maybe it was because I was so excited that I was singing along with the cast, and he looked at me with an amused smile. I remember I was quite happy. It's nicer to find happiness in the little everyday things like singing a song you like or meeting people you like, rather than waiting along for the really big things to happen. This way you can be happy all the time. Oh, of course I do remember him saying in between " Why can't they just say it instead of singing it?". But then, darling, what would I sing along to?

Anyone need a TV?

2007-01-22T08:02:00.000-08:00

After spending three days with The Better Half, with two days spent entirely in our apartment, I'm suffering from separation anxiety since I woke up and realized it's finally Monday and he does have to get back to work. It feels lonely when he walks out of that door and I realize I'm alone for the next 10 hours. Thank God I keep myself busy with my volunteering work. That's the only thing that helps keep me sane throughout the week. That and a little drive down to the library, where I can wander among the books, pick some and decide to read one sitting on one of the comfy couches, among PEOPLE. So that once in a while, I can look up and know I'm not alone. I don't think I would feel any different if we had kids. Sure, the kids would keep me busy, but I'd still feel trapped staying home all day and probably even guilty for wishing I had some time to myself, without the kids. Nope, I'm definitely in the better scenario right now.

Part of the reason I didn't blog last week was because I was all tensed up about the interview I was preparing for. A small update about my B-School application process so far- dinged by 2, waitisted by 1, interviewed by 1 last week, and in the process of scheduling another interview maybe sometime next week. My interview was decent, far better than I had expected, but what do I feel about the outcome? Heaven knows. These interviewers certainly have a good way of hiding whatever they are thinking about you. "Do the best you can wait and then wait for the result"- that's the policy I'm following right now. It is scary though, knowing that all will be over in probably 4 weeks time. Then I will have to evaluate the result after more than 6 months into this long and stressful process.

Moving onto not- so- stressful stuff, I had a call from a friend, D. She knows me from my engineering days and moved to the US some 6 months before me. She has not faced the visa problems I have, which states that I cannot work since I'm here on a dependent visa. Luckily, she is married to a US citizen and so is exempt from those rules. I was surprised to see her number flash on my cell phone, since she and I are not really good friends, atleast not the confidence-sharing types. Turned out that she is at home since a week, her last job contract having expired. In between sharing common woes about how boring it is to stay at home, I happened to mention that we didn't even have a TV until last month, and that though we did buy it, it's just sitting on the TV shelf without any cable connected. "Really?" she asked in surprise. "What do you do the whole day then?" " Well, I keep myself busy with my volunteering and the rest of the time, I read. And when he's home, we just spend time with each other. We don't really need the TV."

She isn't the only one who was surprised at this fact. Well, to be honest, it's not like we don't watch any media at all. The Better Half watchs CNN news as well as the latest cricket updates on the laptop as soon as he gets home, while I make the evening tea. And we do watch atleast a couple of DVD's every weekend. But the one thing we avoid, which TV can't help but show, are the programs. The trouble here is that we both like different things- I like the sitcoms and he likes the action and thriller stuff like CSI. So we end up watching the shows we like alone, with the other person involved in something else or totally bored. End result- no quality time with each other. My best friend, A, refuses to swallow this explanation though. His theory is that all this lovey dovey quality time stuff I talk about will stop in a few years after which we will be thoroughly bored with each other and resort to the TV as an escape. I can't imagine that happening, but hey, am I supposed to take the theories of a single man seriously? Marriage is a whole new ball game, and he's yet to make a start. So far, it's been a year and we haven't missed the TV at all. It feels weird at the start, but slowly, you don't even realize it's not there. And then it doesn't matter at all.

So right now, my mantra is- " TV hatao, parivar ke saath khushi pao". Roughly translated in English, " Get rid of the TV and find happiness with your family". Anyone need a TV?

A place to live

2007-01-16T09:27:00.000-08:00

The past weekend was a nice long one, with us finally finding the apartment we want to move to. We had started filling out the application form in one of the places we had liked before, convinced that it was the best of the lot we could get in our budget, when I remembered that we still had one more place to check out. The Better Half didn't think he would change his mind, but agreed that maybe we should check out all our options before making a committment. So we promised the leasing agent that we would be back after checking out one last place. Little did we know then that 6 hours later, I would be calling her up to apologize for not coming back.

It was love at first sight..with the huge swimming pool meant for laps, and the tennis courts. Apartments usually look the same from outside, it is always the exterior and the location and landscaping which makes a difference. Well, this place had it all, and even though more expensive, was still far cheaper than the so called "luxury" apartments. Most of all, it had buildings with controlled access, which put my security concerns to rest. So in a months time, we will be packing our bags and moving to our new home. I can't wait to start my tennis lessons, and The Better Half has promised to buy me a nice swimsuit and teach me swimming. I'm sure I going to love it and it will definitely help me lose some of the extra pounds I put on after coming to Uncle Sam's country. And best of all, it is a 10 min drive from The Better Half's new workplace.A good deal for sure!

Mysterious dreams

2007-01-10T08:02:00.000-08:00

You know how you have really weird dreams that you wake up remembering? Dreams that make no sense at all? I guess I had one today coz when The Better Half shook me awake, one word tumbled into my tiny sleep ridden mind - Europe. Why in the world did I think of that? I faintly remember dreaming of something but I cannot remember the details - I rarely do unless it is something so scary that I get jolted out of my sleep.

I can't have been thinking of a trip since only yesterday The Better Half and I were talking of controlling our finances. Nor is anyone I know living there. How weird!! The day before yesterday night, I slept only in fits and bouts, waking up feeling nauseated and even in between all that, my clearest thoughts on waking up were about finding a good apartment when we move. That I can understand. This I cannot. As if life isn't complicated enough already, I gotta have strange dreams too now !

Moving Woes

2007-01-08T08:31:00.000-08:00

I hate moving! Even if it is within 50 miles, it still is a pain. It starts with the hunt for the right apartment and ends with the actual moving of pots, pans and furniture.

But you don't move everything. Everytime you move, you leave a little of yourself behind. In the tiny stains on the carpet somewhere while you were having a party, in the spots on the kitchen floor while you were cooking a meal for the one you love, in the door where you bumped your head one morning, in the bathroom where you looked at yourself first each day as you brushed, in the shower as you thought about your day and your life. Each time you move, you leave a little of your heart behind. Which is probably the reason I hate moving the most. It is also the reason why I never allowed myself to decorate our last apartment with any knickknacks, for fear that it would become to difficult to move. This time, I let myself relax a little bit though. A bamboo plant for luck, a vase half full of pebbles from Ikea- these are the only things I have permitted myself.

Nearly 6 months in this apartment and we need to move again, possibly. The Better Half has had a good start to his year with a brand new job in a really good company. He starts there by the month end and even though it's 25 miles from where we stay, it's still too far for him to drive. It's not unusual for people to drive that much to work, but he wants to come home for lunch, he says. To a nice hot home cooked lunch and a little time with me. That was one of the best things we had in our last apartment in Dallas. It's no fun, I'm sure, to eat a cold packed lunch, as he does here every day. So the last 2 weekends have gone by entirely in the hunt for an apartment.

I've always been partial to communities with nice landscaping and beautifully coloured buildings. I guess it makes it that much easier for me to like the place and call it my home. You know, the place you want to go home to because it looks so beautiful and inviting. For some strange reason, most of the apartment communities in the US are painted in dull boring colours, mostly various shades of brown and grey. We were lucky to find our present apartment just the way we wanted it, with the buildings looking bright and cheerful, next to a huge central park with ducks swimming on the lake, with a trail running alongside where we took walks in the summer. I wake up every morning to a wonderful view of the mountains, which helps to make my day just that much better. Resort style, is what someone recently called it. Though it cost us a couple of hundred dollars more for this beauty, we have never regretted it.

In comparison to this, we need to move to a place more congested and with more of a city atmosphere than the suburbia feeling we have become used to here and in Dallas. Consequently, the apartment communities are smaller, packed tightly into smaller pieces of land. Though the apartments themselves are beautiful inside, the outside is not something we seem to like. The only ones which resemble the one we stay in are the so-called luxury communities, which are pretty unaffordable with their steep prices. It is getting hard for us to find something we really like. We have seen close to 15 communities by now and barely liked a couple.

And this is only the start of a long painful process!

A brand new year

2007-01-03T08:30:00.000-08:00

365 days gone. A new year begins. Where did all that time fly off to? Each year begins with new dreams and desires, some of them which get fulfilled and some which do not. Each time a wish comes true, it renews desire and hope in our hearts. Each time it does not, we are unhappy but strive to move on. That is the beauty of the indomitable human spirit.

I have no clue what is going to happen to my dreams and my life this year. But I figure I'll find a way to enjoy the surprise. And what better way to start than end the previous year in a celebratory mood. The Las Vegas trip was great. I got to meet The Better Half's family from Canada. They had not been able to make it for the wedding, so their trip down here was a great way to know the faces behind the names and voices. Vegas is truly Sin City. The lights and other "entertainment" turn into a totally different city by night. A couple of days was not enough to see all the sights, which ensured that I will return for another trip this year. It being quite windy, the famous watershow at the Bellagio was cancelled, and I missed a chance to see it yet again.

I have uploaded some pictures from the San Francisco and Las Vegas trip. The 1st one is Crooked Street, 2nd is the Golden Gate , 3rd is a view of Vegas by night and the 4th is an awesome pic from the road trip.

Holiday cheer

2006-12-26T08:31:00.000-08:00

This whole week is going to be one of merry making, with The Better Half on holiday. Yesterday we did a little tour of San Francisco, driving through the Golden Gate Bridge and the Crooked Street (Lombard Street). The streets of San Francisco go up and down and even zig-zag, as in the Crooked Street (hence it's name), which makes driving exciting and thrilling. The stop signs were at the highest point of the sloping streets which made us dizzy when we looked behind. The Golden Gate was awesome, truly an engineering marvel.

Tomorrow we're off to Las Vegas- the land of casinos, and where prostitution is legal. I still remember my last trip there, which was also my first one, on the 31st of Dec last year. The first thing I saw when we entered Vegas was this group of people crossing the street. I distinctly remember the last person who was bald and dressed like a biker type, tall and with a sleeveless jacket, swigging from a bottle as he was crossing. I was pretty horrified and was told that this is the only city where it is legal to drink on the streets. The other surprise I was in for were the endless pamphlets littering the streets which had pictures of prostitutes on them. Lot of boobs peering out at me from every corner, literally. I missed a lot of the good stuff like the watershow at the Bellagio (yes, the same one from Oceans 11), since we were there only for 3-4 hours before going on to bring in the New Year at the Grand Canyon. This time it's a 2 day trip, so I hope to enjoy the sights and probably do a little gambling too.

I guess I won't be blogging till next Monday, when I should probably have some stories to share. I hope everyone has a very special New Year's eve to bring in a great year ahead. Till then, adieu!

It was New Year's Eve.

2006-12-22T08:13:00.000-08:00

(Continued from here)

The house was full of Xmas cheer, decorated beautifully with wreaths and a huge tree. Mistletoe hung on the doorways. They had thrown a party the day before, and some of the evidence was still lying around. They usually did this every year, preferring to bring in the New Year by themselves. They enjoyed being together, sipping eggnogg and bringing in the New Year with a chaste kiss and a hug. This year would turn out to be different.

They had been to a friend's party today. Having made their excuses, they left early and got home by 10 pm. He suggested that they skip the eggnogg this eve and have wine instead. She was already a little light headed from the alcohol at the party and agreed. They sat down on the sofa, sipping their glasses of a beautiful red wine. He seemed to be refilling his glass quite often, gulping down the wine than sipping, she noticed, as if he was mustering up courage for something. She was going rather slow on it herself, knowing that a little more would get her quite drunk.

Soft mushy music played in the background. An hour and a bottle of wine later, both of them were sprawled by the sofa, in the euphoric mood that alcohol induces. "Lets make love", he said, tracing the outline of her neck, gazing at her through half open eyes. "Why not?" she giggled. She always wondered later whether the alcohol had influenced her better senses or simply let her overcome her inhibitions, letting her heart's desire come forth. Whichever of the two it was, the result was the same. They made passionate love, and when they were done, he whispered the words she had been running away from. " I love you. Marry me." He fumbled in his coat pocket and said in a half slurred voice, " I have a ring for you. I have been carrying it for two years now, waiting to give it to you." He only managed to drag it out, and then could no longer bear the effort of keeping his eyes open. She was wide awake though, with the shock of what she had just heard. As if to confirm what he had said, she slowly pulled out the small case from his fingers and opened it. Inside lay a delicate diamond ring, shimmering in the moon light from the windows.

An unexplained fear shook her. She wasn't ready for this yet. This is why she had never made love to him before. Because she was afraid of acknowledging the truth between them, afraid that her little paradise might be disturbed. She fled from the room, unsure of what she was doing. She only knew that until her thoughts were cleared, she couldn't stay there anymore. She hurriedly threw a few clothes into her suitcase. With a final wistful glance towards him, she ran.

*To be continued...

Creative Distractions

2006-12-21T09:53:00.000-08:00

What's with the stories, you may wonder. Well, one of the reasons I started to write them is because it was something I had dreamed of doing since childhood. While I had attempted poetry before, story writing was still an unexplored territory. Not that I'm thinking of making a career of it, but just for the heck of trying out a new thing and getting the creative juices flowing. The other reason is because I needed and still do need, a distraction very very badly. It was getting too much for me to keep waiting for what I wanted. Alright, I will stop being so enigmatic and confess. I'm very much want to get into Business School and having done all the applications, all I have to do now is twiddle my thumbs and wait for an interview call and the decision email. I've been getting rather frantic that I haven't been invited to interview yet and hence I needed very desperately to control my panic and forget my troubles for a while. The writing has helped me to a certain extent.

I don't think I will be posting the continuation of my story today, one reason being that I haven't yet clearly thought out how I'm going to continue. I think though that the words might come out if I start typing, as it has happened for the previous parts. The other reason is I'm feeling a little low today, more because of the weather than anything else. It's looking awfully dull and it doesn't help me with any creative thoughts at all. If I write in this weather, I might just end up giving the hero/heroine or both terminal illness. So I suppose I'll give it a break today and continue tomorrow.

On the Business School front, one small comfort (?) came in the form of an email yesterday. I have been waitlisted for one of the schools. While this gave me a momentary relief, since it's better than being outright rejected, it's probably worse in a way because I won't get to know the final decision till May or June. And if admitted, the lateness of the offer effectively ruins any chances of aid from the university :( . I guess I had expected the worst, having heard the news that applications have increased by 25-50% this year. Of course, competition is always going to be intense, cosidering I'm applying to the top 20 and with just over 3 years of work experience, I fall in the lower range of the class profile. I hope the New Year brings some good news for me. An offer of admission would do wonders for my spirit. Atleast then I might not feel like a total loser.

They kept meeting...

2006-12-20T08:18:00.000-08:00

(Continued from here)

....at the park, once or twice a week. She looked forward to these trysts, where she had no need to be anyone but herself. At first they barely talked, preferring to enjoy the companiable silence instead. Then slowly, little by little, she started talking. At first about mundane things, then gradually about herself. He learnt her story, preferring to listen rather than talk. Sometimes she saw a warmth in his eyes but she wasn't too sure what it meant. Love? She didn't even want to think of it as a remote possibility; she had lost too much to learn to love again. Underneath all those emotions, perhaps she held herself responsible for what had happened to her parents. She liked it this way, with no pressure to be anything but a friend.

Maybe he realised how fragile she was and how any mention of love or committment would only scare her off, which is why he set forth a different proposition. " Move in with me." "Why?" she asked, feeling a tingle in her spine, dreading that he would say those three words. Dreading that she would lose him too. "Because I'm used to you being around me. My house feels awfully big and dreary to me. I'd rather have you there than rent it to a stranger." She didn't see anything wrong with an argument that seemed so right. It did make sense, she told herself, not allowing herself to think that maybe it was not just his need, but hers too.

Two years passed by. She thought of it as "their" house now. She always missed the look of pleasure on his face when she talked of it that way. Their relationship had progressed in this time too. They did all the things a couple would do, except share the same bed. That was something she would not allow herself to do, afraid that doing that would trap her somehow. Nor did he push her into it; he loved her too much to do that. He had loved her since that day in the park, when he had looked into her eyes and seen a sadness he wanted to banish forever.

Things would have probably continued this way for who knows how long, until something unexpected happened.

* To be continued...

Him...

2006-12-19T09:13:00.000-08:00

(Continued from here)

... with his intelligent eyes, and his lopsided smile. That was how she would always remember him, no matter how time had treated his looks. She remembered the first time she had met him. He was standing with one of her friends, as she stopped by to wave her hello's. Busy chattering away about the party she had been to last night, she was taken aback when all of a sudden he said, " You must be really lonely." "What?" she stammered. " You must be really lonely, to want to fill your time doing that." And he walked away.

She didn't talk to him after that, and pretended as if the incident had never ever happened. But she never forgot. He had been the only person who had ever said that to her. Lonely was not a word people used to describe her. Vivacious and always surrounded by people, nobody would ever imagine her to be lonely. But then she had never really allowed anyone to get that close to her, to see through the facade to the real person she was. It was true what he had said. Everything she did was to escape the loneliness. The loneliness which had pervaded her soul since her days at the orphanage. Her parents had died in a car crash hurrying back to her. They had cut their business trip short to return to their darling daughter who refused to stay even a week without them. Only they never made it back. Since that day, she had never been the same. She had no close relatives whom she could have stayed with and none of the distant relatives wanted to take on the responsibility of a 7 year old child. So she stayed at an orphanage till she was old enough to make sense of her life. Luckily, there had never been any financial worries. Her parents' business had provided well for her.

She met him again, a month later. She was sitting on a park bench, opposite the lake when suddenly a voice said, " Feeling lonely?" And without waiting for the answer, he joined her. "No, I'm not". "Really?" And it was something in the way he said it that made her look up at him. His voice was not sarcastic nor was it questioning, but full of understanding. Unsure of what he meant, she looked into his eyes which mirrored the same understanding. There was no compassion, no pity, only a deep empathy. And with no further words exchanged, they sat quietly next to each other, enjoying the silence and the rapport it created.

* To be continued...

The rocking chair...

2006-12-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

... moved slowly, back and forth. She huddled in it, drawing a warm blanket about her. It was her favourite chair, smelling of old wood and old memories. In the evenings, she liked to sit on the porch outside, from where she had a magnificent view of the setting sun. So there she was, cuddled up in a nice blanket with a hot cup of chocolate.

She had everything anyone could want - a nice house, a great job. The house had practically called out to her the first time she had seen it. Painted pink, with white fences, and rose bushes just outside the porch. Pretty roses of all colors, pink, red, yellow and even white. It had been too expensive for her at the start, but she had known that it was the house she wanted to call home. Now, it was hers, after long years of paying the mortagage. It had helped that she had a comfortable job. Comfortable more in terms of money, than time. Sure it was hectic at times, but that was the price of success. Better a busy and responsible job than a laidback and not so important one. And the best part was that she liked it. How many people could say that about their jobs?

At 35, she was a beautiful woman. She was well known in her career field, popular with everyone, more so with men and understandably so. Not many men can resist an attractive, successful woman. She had a couple of offers to dinner every week, and she did accept some of them. She always hoped that they would turn out to be interesting, and they were, at the start. But slowly, towards the end of the dinner date, the interest would start to fade off. She would politely have to shrug off the suggestion of a night cap and feign tiredness. "I'm a working girl", she would say, "I'm sure you understand I need my sleep. Some other time maybe". Yet this was not always the way things were. If she tried to remember, she could see a younger girl. A girl, who loved partying with her friends. A girl who really did enjoy male company and was not too shy about it, nor indifferent. But that was a long time ago. A happy time when she was young and carefree. Memories came flooding back, bringing back thoughts of him.

*To be continued....

It was a bright sunny morning.

2006-12-15T10:13:00.000-08:00

A girl, dressed in white, walked down the street. She was not what one would call strikingly beautiful. But her smile, which radiated happiness and lit her face, had often got her compliments. She looked like a vision from afar, walking down the narrow lane, lined by trees. Trees which looked beautiful in their autumn splendour. She hurried down the path towards an old building. She had been here quite often while she was growing up. Lots of memories stirred her mind whenever she returned for a visit. But today she was here for a special purpose.

She walked through the doors and went straight to the board which announced a book fair. She smiled, excited at the thought of being surrounded by so many books. There they were, in the next room, stacks and shelves of books. She took her time browsing through them, content in making a leisurely selection. There were a few people in the room, not too many though, just the way she liked it. Solitude was what she preferred more than anything. She spent her hours of solitude in contemplating life and what she wanted from it. She knew that it would likely all change as the years went by, but she preferred to enjoy the joy of building her own dream castles. After all, she was 15. There was time yet to face the harsh realities of life.

She was lost in her thoughts, and yet, suddenly aware of a presence in the room. Without even looking up, she felt something - a primitive pull, a magnetic feel. A feeling which made her even more aware of herself. Nervous, and yet even more curious, she glanced up to find the object radiating this unknown power. She saw him - a boy leaning against one of the shelves, looking a little puzzled himself but yet confident, as if he knew that he was the reason for her discomfort. He stared at her, not bothering at any pretense. She glanced away quickly, more out of shyness than anything else. But not before she had managed to take in his appearance - his dishevelled look, his unshaven face. And yet he had a rakish appeal. He seemed to be a couple of years older than her at least. She had read of something like this in the books she loved to read- was this what they meant by chemistry?

It must be some strange chemical phenomenon, she thought. She didn't even know the boy, nor had she ever set eyes on him before, and yet she felt this strange attraction. How exciting, she thought, for though she was a sensible girl, mature for her age, she was also at heart a teenager. She chose her books slowly, all the while aware of his presence. She refused to acknowledge him again, lest he think that she was flirting with him. Finally she made her way out of the room to the counter and waited for the sales person to tell her how much they cost. She counted out the money, feeling his eyes on her back. And then she turned. There he was, as she knew he would be, leaning against the door in a casual way, offering her a smile now. She smiled nervously- it seemed the polite thing to do- and walked quickly away, not quite sure what to make of the encounter.

It was the first time she had felt so grown up. It was the first time she felt like a woman.

Somedays ...

2006-12-14T08:35:00.000-08:00

.... are going to be bad, considering the crazy emotional phase I'm going through right now. And somedays I can choose not to let it overwhelm me that much.

Today I chose to put the scary stuff behind me, for sometime atleast, and laugh. So for anyone who needs to feel the same way or just needs a good laugh to start the day, see this. And if you love Mr. Bean, watch this.

Go ahead and laugh. It's good for you, I promise :)

I'm scared

2006-12-13T09:17:00.000-08:00

The type of scared where you have wanted something so bad for such a long time, and you feel that it is slipping away from you. The type of scared where you think if you don't get this, you will have to settle.

Settle - that is one word I have never liked. One word I have tried and managed to evade when it has come to the most important things in my life. And yet today, I am at a point where I may be forced to do so. It is not a good feeling at all. Especially since I know that I have done my best and the results are beyond my control. And yet, with this uncomfortable feeling, I begin to doubt my efforts too. Could I have done something better or different? Am I going to have to settle? The question nags me, at times when I least expect it to. Like a flash in my brain, just before my consciousness nods off into sleep, or at the first waking moment I have. Destroying any happy moments I might have had then. Snatching away my ability to smile, that which is so precious to me. Sucking like a leech at my inner strength. Does God have different plans for me? How could HE not know how much I want this? Was it not something I learnt from the start - " Put in your best efforts and leave the rest to HIM" ?

I have nowhere else to go now but to HIM. Maybe I need to tell HIM what this means to me, how settling now will mean that I lose confidence in myself forever. That it is time I got to see my dreams turn into reality. That I trust HIM to do right by me. For it is time, I think.

Johnny Sokko and his Giant Robot

2006-12-11T08:14:00.000-08:00

I've always been a huge fan of this series, in which a little boy, Johnny, controls a giant robot , and helps save the world from evil. There are times even now when I hum that tune and faintly recall some scenes. I was really unhappy when the series ended. I know I was not the only one coz all the kids I knew were big fans too. I guess it had probably a cult following among Indian kids some 20 years ago.

Well, thanks to modern technology, I got a copy of the entire series. Watching the first episode yesterday, I realised how some of the things looked really phony, like the evil Emperor Guillotine. The costumes look really phony as do some of the monsters. But one thing which is still real is the feeling it inspired in me. Good vs evil - the fight is always interesting. A kid controlling the powerful Robot. This is the stuff which children's dreams are made of. It brought back memories of me begging my mom for some time off from homework to watch Giant Robot, of me sitting in front of the TV , watching the Robot fight monsters with rapt attention and cheering him on. I remember playing with friends and us trying to re-enact the day's episode.

I wonder if kids of today have even heard of this show. Or if they even care. The younger generations seem to find pleasure in Nintendos and Playstations, rather than the simple joy of a Tv show. If only they knew what they were missing. If only they knew that watching Johnny Sokko and his Giant Robot makes me feel euphoric even today.

I know not why

2006-12-09T22:44:00.000-08:00

I know not why I feel this way
Why the room looks duller than always
Why life looks sadder than it is
I know not why

Why do the tears drop on my cheeks
Why do I feel an emptiness in my heart
Why do I feel friendless and all alone
I know not why

All I know is when it happens
Life seems meaningless without reason
Warm thoughts seem far away
I know not why

I try and recall the good things I love
Friends, family, the things I care about
And yet all I recall is pain and grief
I know not why

Maybe this is the way I remind myself
That I must be grateful for what I have
For life is kind but cruel too
I know not why

At such moments as these
All I need is a hug and a kiss
And yet you falter with this simple gift
I know not why

I just finished reading...

2006-12-07T08:24:00.000-08:00

... Nathaniel Hawthorne's "The Scarlet Letter". I first saw this book at a book fair in my school. I must have been 13, I think, and way ahead in reading as compared to the rest of my class. I remember looking longingly at the book. Something about it, the title perhaps, suggested something forbidden. The lady who was assisting students to pick out their books noticed me looking at it and then diverted my attention away to the more traditional choice- a collection of Sherlock Holmes' stories.

Now that I have no one to censor my reading choices, I finally ventured to pick up the book from my local library. Somehow at the end of it, I did not feel what I had expected, the way I feel after I've just finished a great book- elated, thinking about the circumstances, wondering what I would have done if I were one of the characters. I just put it down and went on the next. I'm not saying that this book does not deserve to be called one of the classics. I think it was an extraordinarily bold topic for its times. Adultery is never a topic which does not cause some flutter. I guess it just didn't appeal to me. Maybe I'm just too desensitized to topics of this nature, or maybe the writing style was not to my taste. Maybe I expected it to be more brazen. To be honest, there were certain sections which did hold my attention, especially when the central characters, Hester Prynne and Rev. Dimmesdale make a plan to flee to a different land and finally live a life free of guilt, only to find that their enemy, Roger Chillingworth plans to follow them there too. But I guess those few sections were about it. I confess I'm disappointed.

Today, I intend to do another thing I long wished to - watch "Bonnie and Clyde". I have heard that the Hindi movie "Bunty aur Babli" is a vague take off from this movie. Well, this time I will watch it with no expectations, only intending to enjoy it for what it is. Then hopefully, there will be no disappointments.

Stalker !

2006-12-06T09:52:00.000-08:00

I attended a dinner event yesterday, hosted by one of the B-schools I'm applying to. It was just a small party, about 10-12 candidates who had applied, with a couple of alumnus and the Associate Director. A totally woman event, specifically planned as such. The Associate Director said that one of the reasons for this was that women were overshadowed by men at the MBA fairs, so they felt it was necessary to connect with them separately. It was an interesting dinner, with women from a wide variety of backgrounds there. I was one of 4 Indians, but the only one who had relocated from India. The rest were , as they are popularly called, ABCD's - American Born Confused Desi's, for those not in the know. Got to learn a lot about the school from a personal angle too from the alumni. One of them had been to India while studying in the school to study Indian businesses. Is it true, I asked her, that New York and Bombay are similar? Quite a few of my friends who have moved to NY have told me that. Surprisingly, she replied that Bombay reminded her of San Francisco, which is always so alive, and one of the cities she feels safest in. Delhi, she said, reminded her more of NY.

An interesting and funny touch to the evening was added by none other than The Better Half. Since the dinner was in the city, just a few blocks away from his work place, he had dropped me off and then arranged to pick me up. Well, the evening went on and I didn't even realize that it was getting really late. Suddenly the woman next to me nudged me and said, "Isn't that your husband?". I looked up, and there he was, peeking at me from the corner, assuring the waitress he knows me. I guessed he would wait in the bar for me, and continued the conversation, thinking that the dinner was almost over. But no, it was dessert time and it would have been so rude to leave without that :). So ordered some flourless chocolate cake (which on hindsight I could have given a miss- the brandied cherries tasted like the ones which are artifically sweetened and the cake sullied the taste of chocolate) and sat down for some more talk. Half an hour later I suddenly see someone gesticulating wildly from the kitchen area. The waitress came up to me and worriedly asked. "Do you know him?". I gave my best smile (lest they throw both of us out ) and said, "Yes! He's my husband!". She grinned and said- "You know, I thought- Stalker!". By that time, the weirdness of the situation was apparent to many, and the alumnus I was talking to was kind enough to suggest I should leave (maybe she was just embarrassed, come to think of it ). So said some hasty goodbyes and finally joined him at the bar, where he was merrily downing his 4th Heineken. I gathered later that the evening wasn't a total loss for him . Apparently he had his moment when the waitress looked at him and dropped 4 glasses ( a truth I cannot verify since I only heard the sound and am unaware of the incidents leading to it). Managed to catch the train and trudge home by 11.30 pm, while of course listening to a narration of this incident atleast twice by Mr Happy Face. Alright, alright, you can have your moment!

The Ex Factor

2006-12-05T09:18:00.000-08:00

Almost all of us have an Ex or more hidden away in our closets. Nothing to be ashamed of. They are probably a necessary experience- you do have to kiss some frogs before you kiss the prince/ princess. They also make us appreciate our partner even more at times. But that's about all the usefulness I can think of. At times the Ex can be the cause of many an argument or in extreme cases, even the break up of a relationship/ marriage.

One question always comes to my mind when I think about this topic - why do we let the Ex control our life even after they're no longer part of it? The Merriam - Webster dictionary defines the word as :
Ex
Pronunciation: (')eks
1 : out of : FROM:
2 : free from : WITHOUT

Do we not understand this definition? Or is it some other dictionary we use when we let this person become a part of our world again?

I have heard a lot of people tell me that they're good friends with their Ex. They say that their partner is secure enough in the relationship not to be bothered about it. In some cases, the partner is also friends with the Ex. I, for one, am never going to understand how that is possible. I'm not saying we ignore the Ex if we come across them. I'm sure that would happen many a times, especially if the Ex is someone at work. Of course we have to be civil, courteous and dignified. But we do not have to go out of the way to make conversation or socialize.

I find myself getting agitated when I see my friends doing this. I do not think they realise how much pain it causes their partner to see them being desperate for a little attention from the Ex. This sort of behaviour is enough to make even the most confident woman/man feel a little less secure in the relationship. Many times they do not even mention the inner turmoil caused to them by their partner's behaviour. Perhaps it will look like I'm nagging or controlling the relationship, they think. After all, I should trust him/her enough if he/she wants to talk to the Ex. What harm can a little conversation do? A lot, I think.

Maybe I should mention here that such sort of behavior from a friend, D, is what is prompting me to write this post. D always appeared to me as a sensible, grown up person even if she tended to let her passions override her decisions at times. When I heard that she was making desperate attempts to meet her Ex, it made me wonder. It's not as if she has been forced into a marriage. She married a man she chose, almost 2 years after the break up with the Ex. She married and moved to a new country. And yet, since the time her Ex moved there too, she has been displaying signs of agitation. And now this. He is laughing at her, deriding her attempts. Does she not realise this? Do we allow ourselves to be so ruled by our passions that we lose all sense of propriety?

Why can't we let the past be the past? Must we let it rule our future too? Let bygones be bygones, I say.

Old Friends, New Beginnings

2006-12-04T10:07:00.000-08:00

A lazy weekend went by with quite a bit of fun on Saturday. Met up with an old friend, M, from undergrad days. She and I weren't exactly what I would call close, more coz of lack of opportunity than anything else. Being in separate divisions, we didn't see each other much, though we had common friends and heard about each other from them. She was an immensely likeable girl with chubby cheeks I remember pinching whenever we met each other in the hallway. I had had no contact with her at all since 1999 though, when I finished my undergrad.

The second chance meeting happened thanks to Orkut, where I have met tons of old friends. Got to know that apart from M, there were quite a few girls from the same batch in the Bay Area. I made contact with some of them, and the usual promises - "Let's keep in touch. Let's meet soon." M though was more enthusiastic about these promises than most of us. All of us received a mail from her on Saturday, asking if we could meet up. Since most of my idle time (read "all of my time apart from cooking and reading") is spent in refreshing my email inbox, I was the first one to reply that the short notice was not a problem for me. I later learnt that some people pretend to be busy by replying late (ha-caught you!).

Not to digress from my story- M and I decided to meet even if no one else replied. So she came over to my place Saturday Night. We discussed our lives, what we had been upto in the past 7 years over cooking. The Better Half was home too, though I was worried he might be bored with the ensuing girl talk. Turns out I needn't have worried. I think he was smiling secret smiles all throughout the evening listening to us bitch about the other girls. He was so quiet that we were tempted to share our innermost feelings in front of him. M didn't even notice him while she was telling me about her lovelife. I had been wondering why such a wonderful girl who appeared to be doing very well for herself, professionally and personally (actively involved in Indian dance performances and with a wonderful drawing ability) was still single. Well, she isn't. She is seeing someone, the only hinderance being the usual parental disapproval. Apart from the usual caste difference, both being from different regions of India, there is a bigger hurdle to cross. He is 5 years younger than her, which is why his parents are not too keen on the couple. They have their doubts about it being a passing fancy, her "ulterior motives", and the like. I don't blame them for those doubts. The age difference is always going to cause problems with Indian parents, even if they're settled in the US for the past 10 years. You can take them out of India, but you can't take India out of them. I felt sorry for M, it was obvious she really cares for the guy and wants to marry him. Luckily, she said, her parents back in India didn't bat an eye about the age difference. But the pressure is certainly on her to get married soon "as time is running out".

It was a wonderful evening with estrogen in the air. I was sad to see it come to a close. The testosterone a.k.a The Better Half had prefered to be an observor and listener for the better part of the evening. Must have been a wonderful insight into the world of women for him, I guess!

Sunday was relaxed and brought me yet another pleasant surprise towards the end. Got a long mail from a long lost friend, A. She and I had been best friends in school, till she moved to the UK in the 7th standard. I met her only once after that during one of her India visits. I had often despaired whether I would ever meet her again. Technology not being as advanced then as it is now, email was something I heard of only 5 or 6 years later. Till then it was too late, having totally lost touch with her, not even the occasional once-in-a -bluemoon letters being exchanged. I was totally ecstatic on getting back in touch with her, once again, thanks to Orkut. She is still too far away for me to meet, but till then there's always email !

True !

2006-12-02T11:52:00.000-08:00

"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not."

So are there any such nice men I know? I'm not telling ;)

Cinderella Man

2006-12-01T08:44:00.000-08:00

Pugilism. Not a sport I fancy. It's way too macho with all the bloodshed. What's so interesting about watching 2 people pummel each other to pulp? That was one of the reasons I was never interested in watching Cinderella Man. The name sounded out of sync too, with the theme of the movie. Boxing and Cinderella? Nah..they don't go together.

The nomination for the Oscars and the raving reviews had caught my attention though. So finally yesterday, I got my hands on a DVD and watched it. Though boxing is the theme of the story, it is about so much more than just winning a title. It's about a man's courage, determination and grit. I especially liked the part where Russell Crowe, who plays the central character, James J. Braddock, is asked by a reporter - What is your motivation for this fight? and he replies- Milk. The struggle to keep his family together, the indignity he goes through while asking a roomfull of people from the boxing fraternity to contribute so that he can have a warm house for his children- these scenes stick out in the mind and make it the great movie it is. Being a role model for people in hard times like the Great Depression is demanding indeed, for it is such times when people need an inspiration and a hero the most. The bonding between Mae Braddock, played by Renee Zellweger, and James is subtly and beautifully displayed , without the usual mandatory sex scenes in Hollywood movies. An inspiring watch, especially when you know it's a true story.

Can you do any better?

2006-11-30T08:25:00.000-08:00

I randomly picked up a book from the library a couple of weeks back, in a sudden urge to read books on leadership. The book is called "The Negotiation Handbook" by Patrick J. Cleary. It's a concise book of approx 170 pages with decent sized font (I know so many people who won't read a book if it's font size is too small). The author has narrated his experiences as a mediator and negotiator in company disputes. Quite an interesting read, especially when it talks about understanding the human psyche and it's issues- ego, saving of face, knowing the difference between a No - which can be negotiated, and a Hell No- which can't, when it is a theological issue or one of unbreakable principles. But the most interesting part is a line which the author says can be used in everyday negotiations- for a car, house, or even a hotel room. The magic phrase is "Can you do any better?" He says that this is something which no one really uses, even though it is so powerful. Quoting the author - "It is so simple, but it almost always triggers a positive response....Everything is negotiable". Of course, you need to ask this question to the right person- the person who has the authority to take a decision.

Well, since I've never tried this, I'm not sure if it does work but some of the real life examples quoted in the book seemed to show encouraging results. I guess it's worth a try. The most negative thing I could hear is a "No",which we probably assume anyway. What is there to lose?